New Year....It will get better, right?

Last week was rough. Having a stomach bug was only the icing on the cake. A friend of mine had to euthanize his horse. She had cancer and had begun to quickly deteriorate. Ask anyone at the barn, no one showed near the dedication to their horse than this man did to his mare. He had owned her since she was 2 years old, and had to let her go just shy of her 25th birthday. We are all heartbroken, not so much for Paisley, as it was her time, but for my friend. He will be lost for awhile without his beloved companion. Rest in Peace Paisley.

This has been a rough winter so far. The stormy weather has me regretting my decision to hold off spending money to buy a new four wheel drive car. I still think for now, it was the right decision, despite the harrowing drives home from work in the snow. Well, if I crash my car, then I have a solid excuse not to go to work!

My birthday is coming up next week. I contemplated taking the day off, but to do what? It is a double celebration day though, My birthday and even more important it is the day George W leaves office and Mr. Obama moves on in. I would not want to take on this disastrous country, but he seems determined to clean up at least some of the current mess. I wish him all the luck in the world!!

That Was Fast

Christmas is over. It went ok. I was not into celebrating this year and my back bothering me didn't help my mood any. I feel bad, I was quite crabby Christmas Eve and just wanted to stay in bed Christmas Day. I did have a good time. My Guy and I had a nice breakfast with my Mom on Christmas day and then messed with some of our gifts. Saturday was our two year anniversary...which both of us forgot. Oops! It's ok, we went to dinner and had a nice time just enjoying time together. Two years and still very happy together. He makes me smile. He thinks I am crazy. We were chatting at dinner and I said that we need rocking chairs to put on the farmer's porch of the house. Men never will admit to liking rocking chairs (unless it's a big lounge chair). Well, with my typical smirk, I asked him if he would "rock with me"...I could see us as two old people rocking together. He just looks at me like I am a nutjob when I come up with these ideas. When dinner was over and we climbed into his truck, he turned on the radio. I kid you not...the song playing on the radio..."Rock With You" by Michael Jackson!!! I got all excited and said it was a sign that we would be together forever. He groaned, but I know he loved it. Haaaa, so funny!!! Poor guy is stuck with me.

My Movie

Many times I wish I were an artist. If I could draw the images I have in my head, possibly it might help others understand my thoughts a bit better, possibly it might help me understand me a bit better.

As of late, I have been attempting to picture what my life is, in general. What do I see? I see myself, sitting between what appear to be two movie reels. One of the world, other people's lives, those close to me, people I run into throughout my day and the world population. Behind me is a reel displaying my own life, my dreams, my desires, my passions. I face the images that are not my own, but those of others. I watch to learn, I watch because I want to find a way to make the lives of those around me better. On occassion I turn to look at the images of myself, but that reel moves faster. The more I reach for it, the faster it flies past. Why can't I turn around and concentrate on me? Why can't I grab those dreams and desires and make them a reality? Why do I concentrate so much on the joys and troubles of others, while my own fly past me at lightening speed? I want "my movie" to move forward, not backward as it appears to me. I want to jump into the future and move with it...not watch it flow past.

Someday I will make my "movie"...something I will love to watch!

10 Steps Back

Until this past weekend, I was feeling pretty confident that my back problems would be done with by summer. I felt strong, any pain was short-lived...I was optimistic. That marvelous feeling did not last. I let things bring me down, many that I should have let roll off.

Who gets poison ivy in the winter? Me! I am guessing that what the dog ran through a week ago, when she randomly decided to veer off the path, was poison ivy or some other rash causing plant. Lucky me, I touched her right afterward and Whammo! I now have itchy blisters on my neck, above my eye and on my hand. I wake up scratching, only to make it all worse. I am just about bathing in Caladryl.

A friend of mine wants a job back with the corporation for which I work. Why, I will never know. She hated it here, got a job with a better company and now wants back in here. She has applied for a few jobs, only to be passed over. I knew of a job that would be posted at some point, but did not know when. She is now upset with me because I did not push her resume on the supervisor who would do the hiring for this new posting back months before it was ever posted. I knew he would not hold onto it, they have to wait for a posting from HR. Yet, she now believes I do not want her back here. I am left angry at the accusation and wondering how/why I get myself involved in this bullshit. "Don't take it on"...I need to remember that advice!

The passing of my very good friend's Father has brought me to a solemn place. I wish I could make her feel better, but I know only time can heal. He has been ill for a long time now. The kicker of it all is the fact that her Mother died on the exact same day six years prior! What are the chances? Does this make it easier because she already hated this date, and now can continue hating it, just double as much? Or does this fact make it worse, one unbelievably bad date in time?

When is my next day off??

I have my third session of acupuncture tonight. So far, I am not sure if I see a difference. Being out of work for 5 days straight helped me to not be in constant paint, but still it hurts. I am running again, taking my time to build up strength, rather than rushing it and really hurting myself. I have slacked off as of late eating enough protein, but with Thanksgiving, I just didn't have time for a normal diet. Last week was rough, from the two shit-bag days at work, to taking Jade to the vet because of her vision and then my Mom getting hurt on Wednesday. Nothing seemed to go as I had hoped, though Thanksgiving dinner itself went well.

I finally was able to go out and buy Mom her new bed. With her falling and getting hurt, she absolutely needed to have a comfortable bed. So far, she seems happy with what I chose. As far as shopping for Christmas, I have no idea what to buy and no idea where to get the money to do the purchasing! I am going to try to just relax about it...people will get what they get. It is the thought that counts, right? :-)

Trying Something New

I had my first ever acupuncture experience last night. I decided after spending hundreds with a chiropractor and doing as many different exercises I could find, I was tired of hurting. Of course, my insurance does not cover any of it, and it is quite expensive, but if it works...it's most definitely worth it! There is no point in having money in the bank if I am in too much pain to go out and enjoy spending it.

The acupuncturist was a very nice woman. I really liked her, down to earth and pretty funny. She made me feel very comfortable and obviously is passionate about helping people. I have to go oncee a week for the next month, hopefully feeling better each time and for longer periods.

New Pics

Nothing exciting, just the first pics I have saved on the new computer. I am disappointed in the quality, but I am no photographer...that I can admit!!


My Attempt at Capturing a Full Moon:



A black and white photo of a black and white pup.



Dyna-Dog looking good.



Isis reveling in her freedom.



The Jungle Chow.

No Luck.....

I never made it to King Richard's Faire. It rained AGAIN yesterday. I did not know it would rain. Ugh! I have two weekends left to try to get there. I am determined!

Friday night was fun. I went to dinner with the women from bookclub. They are a riot. We ate, drank wine, talked politics, men, and just random topics. It was great to laugh like that.

Saturday was a slow day. I fed the horses, ran errands, walked the dogs with Mom and then went home to exercise and do laundry. My guy was working, but when he got home, we headed out for Mexican for dinner. We had not had Mexican in awhile (not something I would eat often...not the healthiest). It was yummy though, as always.

I was utterly disappointed to get up Sunday morning to find it raining. My guy was doing a quick job in the morning, so I watched some tv, exercised and showered. He had to deliver a load of mulch to a customer, so we headed out to take care of that job. Having nothing better to do until later in the afternoon, we decided to go look at cars for me. I still wanted to see the inside of a Nissan Rogue and Toyota Rav4. We did not have much luck. The idiots at the Nissan dealer were too afraid they might melt in the rain to come out and talk to us. We then drove into the Toyota dealership to check out the Rav4's. As we had done at the 3 other dealerships we went to, my Guy drove his truck around the lot to the cars in question. A salesman followed us out there, and rather than asking what he could do to help us, he blew any possible sale. "That's an awfully big truck you are driving around these new cars. The owners are here and they do not like people to drive around the lot, you could hit something. Could you move your truck to the other parking lot and walk?" In the rain...doubt it! If he couldn't handle such a large truck, he would not own one. He could have driven a tractor trailer around that lot and not hit something. My guy was pissed, so we left. Morons! I did not believe I would ever buy from that dealership anyway, as I had heard very negative things about them in the past, but now it's clinched.

Figuring we might as well get something done while we were out, I asked that we stop at a nearby pet store to get the new food for the pup that the vet recommended. They only had it in 50lbs bags! That would last me months with my wee girl, so no luck there. Oh well, back to the drawing board!

Nothing too new and exctiting

Well, finally the new computer is set up and ready to go. I did have a big of a panic to start off, since the idiots that put it together neglected to connect the hard drive to the power supply, but thanks for a kind and patient tech, we figured it out and all is well.

It is cold outside!!! Mom went to turn the heat on this morning, and the oil burner would not come one. Pretending I could help, I wandered downstairs, flicked some breakers, hit some buttons...nothing. For a last ditch effort, I whacked the motor 3 times and WALLA! It came on. I turned to Mom, "that will be $100." Needless to say, no money for me. I did get a tuna sandwich though. :)

So time to clean the house and maybe go food shopping. Tomorrow King Richard's Faire is on the schedule (hopefully). I can't wait!!

I did find a cd with some pics I thought I did not have anymore.

Cranberry Bogs in Fall:



My Cousin's Pony Derby:



My Beloved Kayla...I miss her:



A Scene I Am Not Looking Forward To:

My Satos

Just more pics of my beautiful girls. I just love my Puerto Rican wonders!

I HATE COMPUTERS!!!

Both of my computers have decided to crap out on me. The main PC has been threatening for awhile now, and as this is not the first time, I am not even going to bother to figure out what is wrong with it. I might give it to a friend to take parts from it, or it will go in the trash after being kicked across the driveway. My laptop is bogged down as well. It wants to do a Windows Service pack update, but I am not set up to back up everything, so the thought of losing my stuff makes me very queasy. I am tempted to just buy a new PC, but spending that kind of money right now is not appealing to me. I need to update the laptop, get it some more memory and maybe a backup drive to help it out. We shall see. My friend is having issues with her computer as well and making me crazy with questions on how to deal with the latest error messages. She is lucky she knows how to turn it on, never mind make a decision on what is a virus or a real update. Ugh!

Computers Suck.

Nyctophobia - Recently Discovered

In my 31 years of life, I have never been home alone when the electricity has gone out (at night anyway). It seems unbelievable, I know, but I have never lived alone...so it's not easy to never be home alone at night. I have always had a intense dislike for the dark. The barn owner put up five new flood lights because of my issues with darkness. It all came to a head Sunday night around 8:30pm. My guy was out and I was upstairs getting ready to exercise when the lights began to dim. I figured the AC was draining the power more than usual, but then they began flashing on and off repeatedly, until finally going out completely. We are not prepared for "lights out" at the house, no candles and one flashlight that I use to take the dogs out, and it was at the other side of the house. Luckily for me, I had decided to leave my laptop computer on, and the battery kicked in, giving me the light from the screen. I got down the the kitchen to the flashlight, my cell phone and the dogs, but was panic-stricken. I have never been so scared, ever! I did not realize I would have such a reaction to this situation. Lucky for me, my friend Karen was willing to talk to me for an hour until the lights came back on. I am very grateful. Now that I know how deep my phobia goes in my psyche, I am going to make sure there are more flashlights in the house and that all the doors are locked when I am home alone. I am never going through that again!

I tend to avoid politics but......

I think this is important to see....funny too.

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=184086

We are in such trouble.

I just want to say that the happenings at the Republican National Convention have me very disturbed. I fear for this insane country more now than ever. The writers in Hollywood would not have been able to make up this shit. We are in such trouble!

It was a busy weekend, I figured I would share it. Thursday night was great. My guy and I went to see comedian Jeff Dunham. He was hysterical as usual! He also had "Guitar Guy" opening for him and joining in for parts of the show. That man is insanely great on the guitar and funny as hell. It was truly an enjoyable evening, worth every penny!

Knowing it would be a late night, I took Friday off. Mom was off as well, so we took the dogs to the beach first thing. Isis loves the ocean. Dyna isn't a fan of the waves, but she did enjoy eating whatever the hell it was she found in the grass. YUCK! Vaquita was having a good time as well until Dyna ran at her, nearly running the pup over and therefore scaring the crap out of a dog that is scared of the mere thought of her own shadow.

I had a gift card to the mall, so I decided to ATTEMPT to find some new clothes. I did not do too well, got a pair of jeans and some shorts. Of course I need work clothes...oh well, maybe next year. I also got my hair cut. Deciding to throw caution to the wind (I know, brave aren't I?), I got BANGS! I have not had bangs since maybe Middle School...been a LOOOONG time. If the girl had listened to me and given me long bangs, I would be happier, but she seemed to neglect the fact that hair shrinks up as it dries and curls, so now they are a bit shorter than I would have liked, but it's ok. Like my guy said, "hair grows." Infinitely wise isn't he? Oye.

Having time to kill before my guy got home from work, I decided on a bike ride. The skies appeared a bit ominous, but not so much as to deter me from a ride. I have lived in Middleboro for about 7 years now, but I still love sight-seeing there. About 40 minutes into my ride, the phone rang. My guy was stuck in traffic leaving Boston and would not be home in time to pick J-bird up from camp. It was 3:50, the bus drops her off at 4:10....I had 20 mins to ride back the route that took me 40 mins to travel. I had a lot more energy on the way out. I have never peddled so fast to get home, threw on a hat, got into my Guy's truck and was in the parking lot in plenty of time. The bus was late, of course! In the rush of picking up J, I left my bike outside...needless to say it got a bath that night in the pouring rain. :(

At one point in my Friday adventures, I headed to the grocery store for some sushi grade tuna steaks, steamers, and beer. The tuna was fantastic on the grill, with the help of my delicious marinade. (Don't ask me how I made it, I totally made it up in my head...not to be duplicated, oh well.) A little garlic and some beer to help them cough up all the dirt they collected, led to some rather delicious steamers for an appetizer. I even sauteed some fresh summer veggies from the garden, mouth-watering and healthy! Dinner was great, so good we fell asleep on the couch after dinner at 7:30pm with some full stomachs and big smiles.

Saturday morning brought the usual routine....breakfast for the horses. I need a coffee maker at the barn. Nothing worse than horses kicking stall walls when one has not had at least one cup of coffee. I then ran home, exercised and got ready for a cookout at my ex-bosses house. The field office for which I worked the previous two years was having their annual summer shindig and they were kind enough to invite me. It was great to see my guys. I miss them all. I do not miss the work, but those guys are a riot, I love them! I got to catch up on all the latest stories of screw-ups and practical jokes on the job sites. It was great fun! A couple of the boys also told me I looked really hot...that always helps a girl enjoy her evening. :)

Sunday the usual crew went boating, the Sunday activity. I was able to bring my kayak and cruise around the pond for a bit. There were a lot of boats on the water, making it quite rocky for the kayak and rough for the guys when they were skiing. We were proud of our friend's 6yr old son, who finally decided he would ride in the tube and then wanted to keep riding. His Dad had to ride with him, but it is a start!

Now I am tired and can not wait for this coming weekend. I do not have to feed the horses breakfast, covering lunch instead. Sunday I can sleep in a bit because we are not going boating. My Guy's twin nephews are turning 2...big party in their honor. It is only Tuesday, but I will make it. 8am wake-up...here I come!

New Quote

I know...I am a total quote junkie. This one came from a website called women-at-heart.

"I did not lose myself all at once. I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain, the same way carvings on stone are worn down by water.”

-- Amy Tan

Happy Friday??

Not quite. The day has not begun well. I have account managers bitching at me because the plants will not take their customer's waste. I have to review the work of someone who is listed as "lead" in our group and paid at least $10K more a year than I am. That is not even the worst of it...I would not mind if he actually GOT ANYTHING I FUCKING SAID TO HIM! I explain what to do, even 1., 2., 3. write out exactly what needs to be done to get the work done and he just cocks his head like a damn dog and says "ummm, yeah". OMG! Yes, this job is technical and sometimes difficult, but I am not spouting out the recipe to make a goddam nuclear bomb.

Serenity Now!!!

I am glad it is Friday. My guy and I are going to have a relaxing night at home, barbecuing some salmon on the grill and having some home-grown veggies. I can not wait to get home, crack open a beer and start slicing some veggies. I am not sure what is on for the rest of the weekend. There is a Blues Festival in Onset tomorrow, might try to swing down there. My horse is in desperate need of a bath though and we do have a ton of yard work to do. There just is not enough time in 2 days to get it all done and have fun.

Never Again

I had the cyst removal surgery or procedure or whatever you call it...and it sucked! I figured it would be easy, a little numbing meds, a quick slice, pop them out, a stitch and away we go. Nope. The numbing medicine was very painful, and then was not working very well, so had to keep adding more. The cysts would not come out, so the surgeon had to keep pulling and digging and cutting deeper. A quick half hour procedure lasted over an hour. I was not happy afterward, especially with no pain meds.

I will keep the rest of my little bumps on my head. They just better not start growing!!

Gives Me Goosebumps

Call me crazy, but this video is so beautiful. I do not see a Moose and her calves...I see a loving mother and her innocent babies. Unlike humans, they will stay innocent...

http://www.maniacworld.com/twin-baby-moose-in-sprinkler.html

Shhhh, Don't Tell Mom

But I just got back from my first ride on the back of a motorcycle!!!! She would flip out. (They are dangerous ya know!) :) It was a blast. My guy has a sport bike, crotch rocket, rice-burner...whatever the hell you call it and I finally got my ride. I can not wait to go again. The feeling of complete nauscea was gone after the first mile. To think...I almost said "nevermind". Yay me for not wimping!!