Protein Shakes...Yuck!

My Chiro has informed me that if I do not eat more protein that I will age faster, have more wrinkles, become depressed and senile. Of course, in the near future, he is more concerned about my building muscle and healing the damage I have done to myself already. My back has been pretty wrecked as of late, 99% of the cause is stress. Some people get cranky when they are stressed, some eat, some don't eat...I injure my back. I am working to relieve some of the stress, but I also need to repair the current damage...hopefully be able to ride my horse and workout again soon.

I do not eat red meat, poultry or pork, therefore my protein must come from seafood. The doc said that proteins from vegetable/bean based foods are not as beneficial as animal-based proteins. I also do not have time for more than a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and normally skip dinner. We calculated I was eating 10-15grams of protein a day..and I need 70! I have been drinking Boost with Protein and eating as much seafood as I can find. I took the doc's advise and picked up a container of a protein shake powder and though I tried, I just can't drink it. It is awful!!! Maybe it is this type, maybe I need to mix it in a blender with ice (and a shot of Bailey's), but as is...no way Jose! I will work on it though. I will try anything at this point.

On a more positive note, I got the new/old job. They will give me a BIG raise and let me keep my hours, so that is sweet. I can not wait to get out of here. I am going to use my last week of vacation in the next month, as I am sure they will hold me as long as they can. Ah well, my time will come.

Bookclub (or as my Guy calls it, the "Cult") is meeting next week. We have been reading "Marching Powder" by Rusty Young. If anyone is into really crazy NON-Fiction, this is a great read. The story is about an English man who lives in a Bolivian Prison. This prison is like nothing one could ever imagine. I am still in shock as what I have read. I highly recommend this one. The discussion should be interesting.

The Lipizzaner Stallions are coming to the area..and I am going! I saw them years ago and loved it. A group of us is going next week to see them, it should be a really good time, as three couples are going together...Three horse women and three NON-horse men. The men will be pleasantly surprised. I brought a guy I used to date the first time I saw this show and he really enjoyed it, despite his animosity toward horses. I can't wait, there is nothing more amusing than proving the sarcastic men wrong. :-)

Gotta Go

Well, I am leaving my job. Oddly enough, I am returning to my previous position and heading back to corporate. I would prefer to leave the company all together, but I need a job and they are offering me a large raise and allowing me to keep my hours. Recent events have made it impossible for me to stay on in my current position. I do not like to be bad-mouthed and talked about behind my back. I do not like to have all the work dumped on me, while someone else spends all the time chatting on the phone. I should not be doing data entry. Therefore, I am going back to a job which challenges my brain and utilizes my scientific background. As much as I HATE corporate, I have to make this change. It's time.....

Now Honey...Don't Be Mad.

My Guy left work early yesterday to go fishing with his buddy. They have gone a few times this year, but not until last night did they catch anything. I was very proud of him, and it was good that he got out to relax and have fun with one of the guys. His friend could not believe I did not call him while they were out. Like my Guy said, I never call. I knew where he was and have things to do myself. I mean, if it was midnight and I had not heard from him, I might call out of worry, but I will only call once. I am not a nag.

Which brings me to the amusing story I just heard from my boss....Who, I might add, is constantly in trouble with his wife.

B had gone fishing with some buddies last Saturday night. He called the Wife to tell her that they were all going to a local bar for a few beers after fishing. Well, they did not end up at the bar, instead they ended up at a poker game. Now I am sure it was bad enough that B was playing poker, as his Wife is constantly on him about money, but to top it all off, he did not get home until 3am...bombed out of his mind. She alerted his nextel a minimum of 10x and left him four voice messages. He sat there thinking, as the phone kept ringing..."If I answer it now, I will get yelled at now and again when I walk through the door. If I don't answer it, I will just get yelled at once, when I get home." B decided to go with option 2. He discoverd option 2 was not a good idea. As he staggered through the door, totally shitfaced, with his bag of MacDonald's chicken nuggets and fries, the Wife was MAD. He said he just sat on the couch, eating his nuggets, while she let explitories fly and chastised him for being late and not calling. He could not argue, she was right and he was too drunk to defend himself.

So, I am wondering....What should he have done? He is 30-something years old, works hard, takes care of the two kids all the time, but likes to have fun sometimes and over-indulge. I am not married, so maybe I can not quite comprehend, but I think other than being a bit pissed because I worried, what could I really say. He's an adult. My Guy doesn't usually stay out that late and doesn't get totally drunk, so maybe I am just lucky.

I just had to laugh. Knowing his Wife, his options sucked. It made for an amusing story for the rest of us though.

Hump Day...

So, I am on day 3 without my Vaquita at work with me. She was banned. "Why" you ask? Good question. I received an email last week when I was out sick, from my cowardly boss, stating that I would "need to find other arrangements for the dog." She would sleep ALL day, waking a few times to have a snack or go outside for a potty-break, but apparently that was disruptive to an office where men are constantly yelling and swearing at each other. The guys keep coming into my office asking where the puppy is, she made them smile before heading out to a shitty day of work. Can't have that, can't have happy employees! I guess when one is a "ball-less" boss, one must flex his muscles whenever he can, even if it does make one of his most valuable employees even more disgruntled.

Things have been rough lately, between my being sick as all hell, my horse being a complete wing-nut, and my Guy having a bad time with his custody battle, it is hard to grasp onto the good times. He and I have been trying to wind down the days by relaxing in the hottub at night, but even the steamy water can not melt away the tensions of late. We were able to escape for a short time, heading to the Boat Show in Newport, RI on Sunday. Doing that was nice. It was fun to walk onto those beautiful boats and pretend for a few minutes that one of them was ours. My favorite boat was on sale....only $375K! A steal really... Must be nice, that's all I can say.

Tonight should be fun. We are going to dinner with our serogate family for my "little brother's" birthday. DV is turning 23...ah, to be that young again. This will be the first time in about 15 years that my Guy and CV's husband have sat down in a room together. They worked together for years, but had a falling out and my Guy is not one who forgives easily. We have broken down the barrier though, as he did not have much choice. That family is now a permanent part of my life, love me...love my extended family. He does love them, he used to babysit the boys and even change their diapers. They are his little brothers and two of his best friends. He just had to forgive KV for past bullshit, and it appears he finally has done so. I am very happy for that fact and so is KV. My Guy is very STUBBORN, so to know him is to know that getting over the past is HUGE. Big day...momentous even. :-)

A Real Piece of Work

That is how my Guy describes Vaquita. I have been very sick the past week, so he has been trying to help me out taking care of her. She is quite timid and gives him a ton of crap about going out and then coming back in. She's cute though, so he does not get mad (at least not yet). I finally got some pics of the wild child.

Darn!

I wish I had my camera with me right now. I had given Vaquita my little bowl with some leftover cottage cheese from my lunch, which she loves. I turned around to find her looking at me with cottage cheese all over her face, even on her eye lashes. These are the moments that make spending $2500 to save my little mutt worth every penny!

Great Times

I had a wonderful weekend.....all thanks to my (way too) great Guy. Friday night we went to a new restaurant, a Sushi and Hibachi Bar in Plymouth. It was so much fun and the food was fantastic. I am a huge sushi fan, but the hibachi bar was great. The cooks are pretty funny and they make fantastic food. I completely recommend the "New Tokyo" restaurant.

Saturday was meant to be a day to get a lot accomplished. After an invite to breakfast at CV's house, I ended up chatting with her all day and not even getting my stalls cleaned until 3:30pm. It was ok though, a three day weekend leaves one day to be wasted. I spent a couple hours relaxing with the pup in the yard and then went to dinner with my Guy, his Dad and J-bird. I have never spent much time with his Dad, so it was nice to get to know him. He bought us dinner and told me some pretty funny stories about my sweetie and his younger years. After dinner, J-bird wanted to watch "Arthur and the Invisibles". It was a cute movie and a nice relaxing way to end the evening.

Sunday we picked my Mom up and we all went to my Aunt's house for a cookout. J-bird loves it there, with all the other kids and the pool. It was a nice time, with WAY too much food. Oh well, restart the diet after the holiday. :-)

Today was for me and my Guy. I had a riding lesson first thing this morning and he surprised me with a coffee and helped clean my stalls, while I put my horse away. Then we went to King Richard's Faire. We have both only been once before and a very long time ago. I had SOOO much fun. I always have fun with my Love, but we had a great day. He is always thinking of ways to make me smile, and I think I have a few extra laugh lines after today. After the Faire, we stopped for some icecream and then headed back home to veg out.

It was a full weekend. I did not get any of my errands done but who cares! It was a holiday weekend and I had a blast. I have said it before, but I am saying it again....I have a great boyfriend...I couldn't love him more if Cupid was real and shot me with enough arrows to hit every human in the world. Hee hee, I know, I am a dork, but hell....Ain't Love grand?

Turning Point

I have not been able to blog in a bit, as I had nothing positive to say and I did not want to write and dwell on my sadness and worry. I also did not want to write about something, have it turn out badly and then have to face that post each time I log into my blog.

Vaquita has been very sick. She slowly became lethargic over last weekend and when I brought her to the vet Monday for her second lyme shot, the doctor said she appeared extremely anemic and bloated. He pulled blood and because I was worried, I stayed home with her on Tuesday. The doc called Tuesday around 9:30am and gave me horrid news, in short telling me that either I had to bring my new baby to an emergency hospital or she would die. We were in the car by 9:45am. Vaquita was in desperate need of a blood transfusion and her liver levels were way off. I rushed her down the cape to the specialist hospital and had to leave her and a deposit of $2000. They gave her the transfusion and ran a multitude of tests. The doctors did start to treat her for the tick-born disease Erichliosis, after I spoke to the people in Puerto Rico who sent her to me. They were adamant that Vaquita must be suffering from that disease. She did start to respond to the treatments and get better. I am still waiting on some more blood tests, but so far she is doing great and after three long days, I can finally bring her home this afternoon. She will need daily antibiotics and weekly blood tests, but it looks like my pup will make it. I am not sure how I will pay this whopping bill, but I could not give up on her and lose another dog so soon.

I also was worried about a friend of mine who had a mole removed and was told it was cancerous. He is only 23 years old and his family has a history of death from skin cancer. We had to wait a week for him to see the surgeon to find out the prognosis, and thankfully he will only need one more surgery and then will be fine. What a relief! This guy worries worse than I do, so the psychological danger to him was making me more nervous than the physical danger. I am very happy that he received such fabulous news!

Moxie was supposed to be leaving. He is my horse's field mate. Mox is the only horse with whom Capall can be turned out and not have her go into raging heat or kick the crap out of him. She does not play well with others, but Mox is a grouch, so they have an interesting love-hate relationship. They kick at each other every morning, but never connect and actually get upset when one notices the other is upset in any way. It's cute. CV was going to sell Mox because she doesn't have time for him and is unable to ride anymore. I had a bad feeling about the woman who wanted to buy him and she finally backed out. Wing-nut! It's a long story, but I know Moxie is better off. Ok, so I am excited for my own selfish reasons as well, but I do truly want him to be a happy pony. He is happy at our farm.

I realized something this past week. I constantly felt as though I needed to change something in my life, that if I did so, I would not have this feeling of worry and stress. I came to understand it is change that is upsetting me. So many events are occurring around me of which I have no control. I could not stop my puppy from getting sick, I could not help my friend to not have cancer, I could not stop CV from selling Moxie, and I could not fix so many other "wrongs" that I have been watching occur around me. I watch people I care for suffer though hard times and I can not seem to do a damn thing about it and it makes me crazy. I carry that pain in my back, and I only end up with my own disabling problems and am no help to anyone. I need to accept that things happen for a reason. We need to learn from them and move on. The Universe only puts on us what it knows we can handle. I need to trust myself and turn what at first may seem to be a negative, into a positive. That concept is not very easy for me, especially when I am feeling overwhelmed, but I CAN do it. Unless I want to end up a physical wreck, suffering forever with sever back pain, I HAVE to do it.

"Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life"

A friend of mine sent me an article describing the meaning of the Tao Te Ching. I recommend everyone read this article. http://www.theglobalintelligencer.com/aug2007/arts

I would give anything to be able to make these words my reality.

Most people have too much;
I alone seem to be missing something.
Mine is indeed the mind of an ignoramus
in its unadulterated simplicity.
I am but a guest in this world.
While others rush about to get things done,
I accept what is offered.
I alone seem foolish,
earning little, spending less.
Other people strive for fame;
I avoid the limelight,
preferring to be left alone.
Indeed, I seem like an idiot:
no mind, no worries.

I drift like a wave on the ocean.
I blow as aimless as the wind.

All men settle down in their grooves;
I alone am stubborn and remain outside.
But wherein I am most different from others is
in knowing to take sustenance from the great Mother!

Day Off

I took today off in order to go on a job interview. The place is close by and the jobs sounds interesting, so wish me luck. It's nearly noontime though and I haven't done much, except play with the pup and complete the application. I took some pics though, so here's some (not so great) pics of the baby.

The vicious monkey is attacking my feet, she loves shoes. I have to break her of that habit, especially since Daddy caught her eating his boot laces. Hee hee.

It's Official

I have a new baby girl! She arrived Friday night around 6:36pm, 5lbs, 5oz! She is a tiny tot!!! My Guy and I met up with the girl from the humane society at the airport and as she took this miniscule spotted dog out of a bag carrier, my first thought was, "where is the rest of her?". I expected a chunky dalmation type puppy, but who cares, she is adorable. The Brat calls her "The Rat". Big brute, but he likes her. She is a sweetie, though still skittish and not grasping the no potty-breaks in the house or in the crate rule. We will have to work on that issue.

Her name is Vaquita. It means "little cow" in spanish. They named her that at the shelter and because she responds to it, I decided it worked for me. She has had such a rough start to her little life, including our pulling about 50 tiny ticks off her this past weekend. I have the most patient boyfriend in the world! That fact was proven Friday night when he pulled ticks out from between the toes of this pup and her ears at 11 o'clock at night, after driving over an hour to Boston to pick her up. I love my Guy!

I have brought the baby to work with me the past couple days. She still isn't at the peak of health and it's easier to work on house-breaking if she is with me. She snoozes all day in my office and everyone loves her. Johnny says she is our new mascot. I will have to get her a hardhat and T-shirt. Too bad she can't get a salary too!

I will be sure to take some pics and post them. Hopefully we can show a growth progression, because if my Mom asks "when is she going to grow?" one more time, I might start to get insulted. Hee hee.

Busy Busy Busy

My friends tease me because I hate to have more than one social engagement in one weekend. This coming weekend, I have four! Serenity Now! Why does having so much to do wig me out? I guess because I am so busy during the week, my mind/body/soul crave a day of having NOTHING to do. Now, when I say "nothing", I certainly do not mean to imply I do nothing. I am not someone who sits around just watching television or "vegging" out. I like to keep busy, but it is the lack of a schedule I desire. My "to-do" list is extensive and does not seem to ever diminish. The thought of taking at least one or two items off the list makes the weekend a good one.


Friday night the pup arrives. I have to be at the airport by 6pm to pick her up. I will be meeting up with the woman from the Humane Society. My Guy and I are disappointed that the flight is coming so early, as we were hoping to grab dinner at the Rock Bottom Restaurant in Braintree first. We love that place!! There will not be any time for dinner before hitting the airport, so the seared ahi and beer I love so much, will have to wait. Once I have the pup, I doubt I will want to do more than get her home and make sure she is ok.


The pup will have to come along to the barn with me in the morning to feed breakfast. I would like to get a chance to ride my horse after breakfast, but with the pup and the preparation for the barn party that afternoon, I doubt I will have time for a relaxing hack. I have not had time this week to get any of the food/drink for the party and I would like to help set up. CV is busy enough without having the worries of party set-up. I can not wait to see everyone though. Kev is coming, I miss him soooo much. He is a riot, so it should be a ton of fun. Three of the guests have either had a birthday or are going to have one soon, so I am bringing the champagne for a toast or two and one of the girls is bringing her "Famous Chocolate Cake." Last year the party brought tear-streaming laughter and some crazy pictures, so this year I am looking forward to a great time. Hopefully we can keep Little Duncan, the corgi, from getting drunk like he did last year. He kept drinking out of any cups left low enough, and licking up all the spilled alcohol. He had a hell of a hangover the next day. Nothing worse than a corgi with a hangover, though his headache kept him for his normally constant barking.


Sunday is supposed to be a great weather day, which means we will be going out on the boat. I am tempted to bag out of the boating activities, but unless we find someone else over 12, the two guys will not be able to ski without getting into trouble with the harbor master. I guess I will have to see how my back feels. I can't risk hurting it further by riding on the boat all day again. I certainly will not be riding the tube any more this year.


Sunday night I have dinner plans with a friend I have not seen in years. She and I used to work together, then once she left we met for dinner every few months. She got married about 2 years ago and is now having her first baby! I am so excited for her. We have been trying to get together for months, but like she said, we are running out of time. Her baby is due next month! I am sure she will be crazy busy with the new baby, so best to catch her while the baby is still in "tummy-tow".


I am taking this coming Monday off. I want to spend more time with the puppy, plus I am going to be taking my new friend out. She is the daughter of one of my Guy's friends. She is a great kid, only 10 years old, smart and very polite. She loves horses, so we are going to go to the barn and see all my pony-friends and hopefully grab an icecream while we are out. I felt terrible cancelling this past Monday on her, so I definitely need to take her out this coming Monday. The puppy has her first vet appointment in the States Monday afternoon. I want her to be in their files and make sure all is well with my new baby.


How's about I add some cuteness to my blog? Here's another pic of the little sweetie!

It Was A Good Thing

The pup was supposed to arrive this past Friday, but due to a fever, she could not be shipped. I was very disappointed. I had made special arrangements to pick her up, changed plans, and then was told it was not going to happen. I have so been looking for something to change in my life for the better, so the last thing I wanted was to be denied one thing I was sure would put a big smile on my face.

After the weekend I had, I realize it was for the best that the pup did not arrive. My Guy wanted to go out on his boat, so his friend with whom we normally go boating came, along with his two kids and for the first time this year, J-bird was around to come. Normally I am the spotter while the guys are skiing. I also drive the boat when they want to ride the tube together, but this time I wanted to do more. I decided to get in the tube. BAD IDEA! It is a three-person tube, so I was on one side, one of the kids in the middle and my guy on the other side. He kept asking if I was ok, and I was, it did not hurt while we were moving. His friend kept the boat pretty slow, speeding up a couple times to mess with me. The trouble began when the boat stopped....and I tried to move. OUCH! I slid into the water and tried to swim to the boat. No deal, I could not move my legs because my displaced hips were pulling on my lower back. It was bad, they drove over and picked me up. My face was sheet white and I bit my tongue to hold back the tears. I stayed on the boat so the guys could still ski (as I was the only spotter over 12). It was a rough afternoon. As we drove home, I thought how it was a good thing I was not going home to a new puppy. I could not have even walked her. I then had to go to CV's house and put her dogs in, one of which was freaking out because of an impending storm and had to be tranquilized. I spent an hour trying to wrangle the dogs into the house. At this point, I was spent and all set with dogs!

Sunday brought its own stresses. A court appointed laison was coming to the house to meet with J-bird and see how she and My Love interact. I made myself scarce, as this is not my place, but before she came, I could see the tension on his face. He was cleaning the house, vacuuming up the dog's hair on the carpet. I can imagine what one more dog would have done to his stress level that day. I would not have wanted to add anymore to his day.

Though I was sad about the puppy and would have liked to have seen her, there was a reason she did not come, a universal purpose. It it true, everything happens for a reason.

Sleepless Nights

I opted to stay in tonight. Normally we go to a local pub to see friends on Sunday nights, but I am tired and have a headache, which I am pretty certain is related to a serious lack of sleep as of late. Why am I not sleeping? Well, there is the constant waking up to go to the bathroom (even when I don't drink much before bed). I have been having a lot of busy dreams lately as well, ranging from foolishness, to dreams about work, to ones I know plague me, but I can not recall once I am awake. I would like a full night's sleep, at least once a week.

I do not have the pup yet. She can not be shipped from Puerto Rico for another two weeks. I wish I had her now, the more I wait, the more I think I should not have adopt another dog at this time. There is so much going on right now. I am trying to find a new job, all the while attempting to open dog kennel in the next year. My home life continues to be a mess, as I can't stand the situation with my sister. My Love still fights with his Ex for custody of his daughter. It is hard to watch such a fight. No matter what happens, the child suffers. My heart breaks for her. Her Daddy loves her more than anything, but he can not protect her from the hurt of a broken home.

I guess the uncertainty of the future is what is keeping me awake and stressing me to the point of three cold sores in one week. My worry about the future is a trait that has always been an issue for me. So many people are trapped in the past, yet I am drained by anticipation for the future. Either way, one misses out on the present. I do try. Lately though, I have lost my ability to relax my mind. It is in fast-forward. I will keeping working on hitting pause...at least long enough to enjoy the love I have found and the friends who were from my past, are in my present, and I am sure will be there for my future.

How True

How true is this, yet how many of us take far too long to "quit" something that is detrimental to us? I know I take WAY too long....

Ah Well

I probably can not get the new puppy for another three weeks. After hearing that news, I had myself a bigtime mental temper tantrum. The little me in my head was jumping up and down and whining.."I want my puppy NOW". LOL Hey, it's a human trait to want instant gratification, can't help it. I am better now though, she will be worth waiting for.

I was allowed to finally change my hours at work. I backed them up a half hour, 7am-3pm. I am hoping to have a bit more time in the evening to exercise and spend with my new puppy (when she FINALLY arrives...ok, so maybe I am still a bit whiney about it. hee hee). The traffic is so rough, especially in the afternoon, hopefully leaving here earlier will shorten my commute a bit. It took about a week for my boss to make the decision, which should have been a fairly easy one. My arriving earlier in the afternoon will make life easier for my drivers and foreman, as they will not have to wait as long for paperwork in the morning. Most of my rush time is first thing when I get in, so this should make life not so crammed.

I still ran into moron commuters who apparently can not read numbers, as they never get to the posted speedlimit, some going even 15mph below the speedlimit. It makes me so crazy to be behind someone going 35-40 in a clearly marked 50mph zone. I can understand large, loaded trucks, but a regular car??? Then there are those people who don't think they should have to use their turn signal....they should be slapped around a few times. Last time I checked, a turn signal was standard in EVERY car and if it does not work...get it fixed ya cheap S.OB! It just strikes me as utterly inconsiderate to go as slow as you want, and then suddenly stop to turn without warning. Are people doing it on purpose or are they just that oblivious to the fact that they are not the only people on the road? Argh! There is not enough coffee in Columbia to help deal with these bozos in the morning.

No More Pain!

I have not written it a bit, but certainly not due to lack of thoughts needing to be expressed. I have neither had the time, nor the gumption to write my true thoughts.

Vacation was fun. My Love and I tried to think of some fun activities to do with J-Bird. She and I did a lot of coloring. Even at the ripe ol' age of 30, I still can't stay in the lines. J-Bird says it's ok, nobody's perfect. :-) We made a trip on the train to Boston to go to the Children's Museum, which was fine despite the long train ride. We went to the Carnival, rode our bikes on the Cape Cod Canal, and enjoyed some cookouts for the 4th. My extended family finally got to meet My Love and his beautiful little girl, and they found them both to be wonderful...of course. We also went to the zoo, which I think I enjoyed more than anyone. I had a hard time by the end of the week with J's whining, but I am not used to a 5-year old, so it will take time. She is a great little girl, and I pray daily her father wins the custody battle so he can ensure his little girl does not grow up to be selfish and manipulative, like her mother.


I decided that week that I need a dog in my life. I have Isis, my beloved Chow-bella, but she is 11years old and my Mom walks her. It is unfair for me to be taking her for walks and tiring Isis out, leaving my Mom with no dog to walk. My Love has two labs, but they are his dogs, one of them doesn't listen to me, and I feel terrible if I separate them to walk one. I attempted to adopt a dog from the shelter at which I had worked during college, but it attacked Isis, so I had to bring her back. After the trauma of watching my Isis be bitten by something I brought home, I decided I was wrong, I did not want another dog. Part of me does not want another dog. I miss Kayla, I want Kayla, but I can't have her. I NEED another dog. I need to go walking, I need someone to whom I can confide my deepest thoughts, who will not feel the need to give me advice, but just listen and love me unconditionally. I need someone with whom I can escape into the woods and have great adventures.


Over the winter, I saw a special on the local town station about Satos, mixed breed dogs from Vieques, Puerto Rico. On a hunch, I sent an email to the Viequas Humane Society, and though the dog I had asked about was being adopted to a family in Connecticut, they just got in a litter of 3 female puppies. They appear to be dalmation mixes, but they can't be sure. If all goes well, I will be adopting one of these beautiful pups and having her flown from Puerto Rico to Boston. I am very excited, though nervous at the concept of that much responsibility. I think this is the kick in the pants I need to get out of my current funk.


My insecurity level as of late has been far too high. My back problems are the main catalyst for this issue, as I am constantly in pain. This weekend I had to stop my riding lesson and sit on the ground beside my horse, as I couldn't sit in the saddle any longer. I spent an hour in the shower and then fell asleep in tears, full of frustration and sadness. I have a man who loves me and would give anything to make me feel better, but even his arms around me can't take this pain away. I haven't been exercising enough either, and am angry with myself for losing any of the muscle I had begun to develope in support of my lower back. We are moving the treadmill from my house to his house, as I spend more time there and I will be walking my new pup every night. I will get back to being fit and strong, I have to. I am steadily becoming a burden to those around me, and I can never allow that to happen. I will not stop riding my horse, riding my bike, cleaning my stalls or walking my dogs. Those are the activities which I love and keep me sane. To stop being active would mentally and physically cripple me.


On a more positive note...here's a pic of the pup. How friggin' cute is she?

So It Begins

My vacation has begun. I have the next week off from work...YAHOOOOO! Normally when I take an entire week, rather than a couple days here and there, I am going away somewhere. This year, I am sticking around. My Honey has the week off as well and he has J-Bird for the week, so the three of us are going to have some fun together. Friday night we went to dinner with J's Aunt and Uncle and their 1yr old son. What a cutie! We had a great dinner, then came back to S's house and he made us margaritas. They were WAY too good. J-bird went to bed before our guests arrived, but the baby was up and wandering around the whole time. What energy! He really wanted to get his tiny hands on one of the "adult beverages", so the first half hour was spent trying to distract him from the fun glasses with pretty straws sticking out. Finally he did give up, and decided it would be more fun to trash J's train set. Ah well, Daddy will fix it. :-)

Yesterday I kidnapped my pal "Daisy" and we headed to a funky bead store in Scituate. I needed to find something to which to glue my "Mexican fire agate" and make a necklace. After searching the store for about an hour, I finally asked and the piece I needed was in behind the counter...of course. The girl glued my stone on for me and I now have a very pretty necklace. I felt bad dragging my friend on such a silly venture, but she was a good sport and it was great to have company on one of my crazy adventures.

My Honey and I went to see Ron White last night at the Cape Cod Melody tent. It was a good time. We left late because he had problems with the new machine he uses for work, but we got to the show in plenty of time and enjoyed some good laughs, both by the opening act (who's name I can't remember, but he was great) and Mr. White. There were a few bozos in the crowd, making obnoxious comments, but Ron handled it perfectly and the show went very well. I can't believe how much scotch that man can drink and still get through a show. I would have been passed out on the stage!

Two cookouts today! Yikes, I am not good with having too many social engagements, but I guess it has to be done. First, S and I are going to a birthday cookout at his friend's for their 7year old son. We will stay there a couple hours and then head to my Aunt's cookout. S has never met my extended family, so I hope it goes well. I am hoping J won't be too tired, there will be plenty of kids with whom she can play and a giant inground pool for swimming. I am definitely bringing my bathing suit! I am craving a good swim. Hopefully this week we can take S's boat out and have some fun in the water.

So, I have plenty to do this week...riding lessons, visiting friends I never see anymore and getting my brain waves organized again. Wish me luck. It's been stressful lately, time for rejuvenation.

My Kayla-Baby

I haven't felt much like writing lately. I do not even want to look at my own blog, as I do not want to see the reminder post that Kayla is gone. The house is so empty without her bright-eyed, goofy presence. Isis misses her sister, she stays in the living room waiting for her and runs right to Kayla's couch to see if she came back when Isis was not looking. After 11 years together, we all feel lost without our bully friend.

The Veterinarian who treated Kayla and then helped her to finally rest sent us a very nice card. She really liked Kayla and appreciated her perfect temperment. It is nice to know my shy girl made such an impact on so many lives. She was a gift, one of the most perfect kind.

The story behind my beautiful American Bulldog is one of a kind. I worked at an Animal Shelter in my hometown for about 6 years. I loved it there, met so many great people and wonderful animals. I also learned more than I can explain. I remember seeing my Kayla for the first time like it was yesterday. Linda, the Animal Control Officer, had gotten a call from an elderly woman who said a dog was killing her sheep at night. She then found a large "pitbull" had gotten trapped in her fenced garden. This property was immense, a huge estate. Linda went over and found a thin white and brindle dog, petrified beyond imagination wandering around the garden. She spent a week trying to catch this dog with her rabies pole, but Kayla was an athlete and far too quick. She came back to the shelter one day and asked me to help her bring the coyote trap over. (This was not a leg snap trap as some might imagine, but a huge hav-a-hart trap, completely humane). She put some cheeseburgers in the trap and we left for the afternoon. That night, the call came. It did not take Kayla long to get herself locked in, she was hungry. We went over and took a good look. She was thin, her skin pink with bruises and she was very, very scared, but she did not growl or make a sound when we approached. We carried the cage into the back of the ACO van and went back to the shelter. Kayla was very cooperative, running into her kennel as soon as we opened the door. She cowered in the corner and would not even look at anyone. For two weeks, she ran out to whatever part of her kennel we could be close to her. She took a fancy to the large male lab next door to her, so I sat every day outside their kennels and fed him pupperoni and tossed pieces to her. After the two weeks, she finally snuck over and grabbed one from my fingers through the fencing. We stuck to this routine for another week, then Linda finally allowed me to sit in Kayla's kennel and wait for her to come to me. I sat in her dog bed and tossed her treats for over an hour. Suddenly, in she came! She walked into the inside of the kennel and sat right in my lap and licked my face. Her large (70+lb) body of muscles melted into me and she had the most grateful appearance. Finally she had someone to trust. I can not describe how happy I was to have this dog in my lap, to trust her to lick my face and somehow know she would never hurt me. She never did. For 11 years she loved me, and I loved her. She would only go for walks with me, no matter how hard my Mom tried to get her to go for walks with her. My Kayla was the most loyal friend I could ever dream of having in my life.

I will miss her forever, but now no one will ever hurt her. She is free, but somehow I know she will always be with me when I need her.

Oh, and by the way, Kayla was not the dog killing those sheep. We later found out that a neighbor's shepherd and lab were the murderous culprits. My bull was a lover, not a fighter.

Goodbye

Kayla is better now. She doesn't have to be sad because she can not get up and run with the other dogs or chase the squirrels. She is free. Now it is time for me to heal.