A Contented New Year

It's the end of 2007. Looking back, I can not believe how much has changed in my life. Some good things, some bad things. I am glad it is over, time to look forward and grow with the changes which have come about. If someone had told me what would have taken place, I certainly would not have put money on it, but it is ok..I made it.

I now have a lot to do. I need to get going with the work on the Kennel. Carol is working on the permits, but we need a name, we need a plan and I need to figure out how much I need to earn each week in order to make ends meet. I know it will be tight at first, but I always succeed somehow. My Guy wants me to get a new car. He hates the Matrix and is right, it is terrible in the snow...to the point of dangerous and probably wasn't a smart purchase at the time. I needed to research it more, but no point to looking at the "woulda/coulda/shouldas". The trouble is, money is really tight, I still have not come back from the money I spent keeping Vaquita alive and this past Christmas put me back more than it should have. Money I was hoping for is not coming, I have accepted that. I just need to be a bit more careful and thrifty.

My damn computer has decided to act up again. Last year I lost everything when my hard drive crashed. I was pissed, I lost a lot of important pictures and files. I can not believe it is happening again, after I bought a pretty damn good drive. There must be something wrong with a component of this computer that causes this problem, so I am done with it. I have backed up my important files and once it goes on me again, I will gladly trash it and buy something new. My Mom is willing to loan me the money to buy a good gaming computer, as I am still silly enough to play my online computer game, so I can't just buy anything. I also have some friends who will help me choose the right machine, as I whole-heartedly admit to knowing nothing of gaming systems. As much as I live on computers for the majority of my day, I really HATE them most of the time. :-)

As for First Night, I am not sure what is up. I was hoping for a quiet dinner with my Guy, like we had last year, but we might be heading to his brother's house for a little shindig. We'll see what happens. I am sure he will be bummed out because it did not snow at all last night, so there's a good $5000 of expected money that will not be coming in this storm. Ah well, I have a feeling there will be plenty of snow for him to play in and squeeze cash out of.

It's Over

Well, after all the worry, excessive money spent and running around..Christmas is over. It went very well. Christmas Eve, we headed to a friends for a few drinks and some good laughs, then My Guy and I brought some Thai to my Mom and we enjoyed a relaxing dinner.

Christmas morning I had to stay out of the bedroom, since my Guy didn't finish wrapping yet, but I gave the dogs their gifts and made him some breakfast. One can't be wrapping on an empty stomach. I got the COOLEST GIFTS EVER!! His brother was making fun of him for the "not so romatic gifts", but I couldn't have been happier. I got an Ipod, gift cert to Victoria's Secret (more for him I wager), a REALLY nice pair of winter boots, a full pair of coveralls to keep me warm at the barn, a few cute stocking stuffers...and....and....A KAYAK!!!!!!!! My very own Kayak!!! I am soo excited. I have wanted one for years, but never had the money to get one nor the means to transport it. I was so excited, I wanted to put it into the hot tub or flood the back yard...both ideas got the cabosh. Hee hee. So this summer, while everyone is flying around in the boats and tubing/water-skiing, I will happily paddle around the lake. Of course, they are planning on tipping me, but I will prevail!! :-) I can't wait!!!

My Mom got me my new exercise bike, which I LOVE. I am so going to be ready for the summer!!

Did I mention I got a KAYAK???!!! hee hee

Well, back to work today. Hopefully it will be a slow week, but even if it isn't, I have 436 songs on my ipod to rock on to and room for nearly 1600 more. Yipppee.

Nervous Breakdown Anyone??

I think I am a wee bit stressed out! Is it the holidays? Maybe. Is it work? Surprisingly not. Is it life in general? Sadly, yes.

I need a goddam vacation! At the rate I am going, my Guy will boot my ass out and change the locks before I can say "but it's Christmas".

I arrived home yesterday to find that the pup had shit in her crate and painted the entire thing in feces. After having a fit, spending an hour and 2 rolls of paper towels trying to clean it, I dragged the crate into the tub to try to rinse it. My Guy was not happy with my not asking for help and hurting my back lugging the damn thing around. The pup then needed a bath, which she has learned to stand still for, or be screamed at.

So, despite the fact that I was stubborn and rude during this whole process and he is annoyed by his $65,000 Bobcat being broken, my kind-hearted boyfriend came with me to the barn to help. He listened to my rant about stupid people filling water buckets to the brim even though the water is so dirty, one can not see the bottom. He cleaned the bucket for me and what did I do? I started cleaning the stall and threw the manure into the newly cleaned water bucket, instead of the wheelbarrow. I then proceeded to have a breakdown, laughing and crying at the same time and whining about losing my goddam mind. He joked it off, cleaned the bucket again and asked me to try tossing it into the big blue wheelbarrow, not the little blue bucket.

I wonder if he will visit me in the padded cell.

That Time of Year

Christmas is fast approaching and once again, I am not ready for it. I have the two major gifts done, which is a huge weight off my shoulders. My Mom is all set and so is my Guy. I have not finished getting the little things or anything for all my friends. I haven't even mailed the damn Christmas cards. Oh well, I get myself into the same predicament every year and the world never ends.

This winter is going to be a doozy. We have already had two bigger storms and I have come to the realization that my car is a piece of shit in the snow, even with new tires. I am NEVER driving in the snow again. I had a terrible time and was petrified. It is time to rethink my ownership of this automobile. The trouble is, what I want/need, cost more money than I think I can spend and money is tight right now. I am going to keep my eyes open, pinch the pennies and crunch the numbers. It will work out. I have a guy in my life who is really smart about vehicle purchases and can wheel and deal with the best of them. He will make sure I am safe and happy.

I am so excited! My Mom got me an exercise bike for Christmas. I did a ton of research, and due to my back problems, a good choice is a recumbent exercise bike. I can not wait for it to arrive!! I have been working hard at sticking to the high protein/low fat diet, stretching and ab-work. Adding the bike to my regimen should really help me get fit and diminish my back pain/weakness greatly. This is going to be a promising/positive New Year...I am determined to make it so!

First Snow!

Well, the Speckled Wonder experienced her first snowfall. It wasn't much, but enough to get her all riled up. First she attempted to catch snowflakes out of the air, then ate some off the road. While Jade, Jasmine and I watched in awe, Vaquita ran up and down the street, perfecting her snow slide. She was having a blast, while the 3 of us "old gals" froze our butts off. Ah..to be a Puppy!

My Honey's Birthday went ok. I should have listened to my Mother and opened the gift I ordered through the mail...because it was broken. I felt terrible as we had to repack it after he opened it. He did love the engraved picture frame with the pic of him and J-bird. He said it was the best gift anyone has ever given him, and he is not one to bullshit, so I was honored. Dinner was good and he LOVED the cake from Coldstone Creamery....chocolate chip cookie dough! Overall, my Guy was happy and therefore I was happy. :-)

Needing a Lounge Chair, a Margarita and an Empty Beach!

I love my Guy, but he's a real pain in my ass! I have the gifts, I have the card, I will have the cake...but damned if I can't think of where to take him to dinner. Will he help? Nope, "surprise me" he says. Thanks a lot Babe! Italian is out and I don't want to go to one of our normal hangouts. I have been asking around for advice, but I am not sure. I guess I will just wait, maybe he will have a "hankering" for something in particular. Men!

The Speckled Wonder is in rare form these days. In the past three days, she has painted her crate and herself with shit, crapped twice on the kitchen floor and ensighted a riot in which the two ADULT labs decided to shit on the floor as well and then play in it. After spending 20 mins cleaning up dog shit, and having Jade run away two days in a row, I was ready to call American Airlines and get all three of them one-way tickets to Puerto Rico. Vaquita can be the tour guide. Damn dogs. Last night Vaquita decided to bark from 1am to 4am, when I finally got up and let her out. This dog was sent to me for a reason....to help me to gain extreme patience. Even Saints have murderous thoughts sometimes though! No...I would never hurt her...but she is pushing my nerves.

I can not believe Christmas is coming! Money is pretty damn tight these days. I am not quite sure where it all went. Well, I suppose the tires for my car, hay for the horses, winter shoes for the horse, Thanksgiving...it all adds up. I need to figure out how to pinch the pennies in some aspects, and allow myself to get some gifts for my loved ones. It's not going to be easy...though, is it ever? Maybe someone will give me a week long vacation on a tropical island for Christmas.....Well, a girl has to dream, doesn't she?

A Manic Monday

Holiday #1 of the "holiday season" is now behind us...thank goodness. I am not saying it went badly, but it was just one more thing to deal with, at a time when it seems too much is going on. The actual day didn't go too badly, except that I forgot to make the green bean casserole. The guys were picking on me, though they admitted there was already far too much food and it would just have been more wasted leftovers. I had enough on my mind, worry about the horses in freakish 60F weather. They were all feeling punky, but luckily no one got sick.

I had a chiropractor appointment on Friday, and foolishly figured I could run a couple errands beforehand. I went over to Petco for some dog food and was nearly run over 4 times in the parking lot. People were nuts. I then attempted to buy a filing cabinet for the house, but of course, none in stock of the type and color I wanted. My appointment with the chiro was fun as usual. He asked me how I mess myself up so badly, if I work at it, or it comes naturally. Smartass! Fix it and shut up, I say! He told me I need to stretch. I suck at stretching, but I was the good little patient and went out and bought the book he suggested. I am going to try to stretch myself into a chiro-free life.

I met up with a couple friends yesterday for lunch. It was so good to see them. We gals have not gotten together in far too long, I miss them terribly. I get so busy with work, the dogs and the horses, I forget to take some time for palling around. I spent the rest of the afternoon getting a gift for my Guy. Friday is his b-day. I think I did well. I am pretty sure he will really like one of the gifts. The other gift, he will probably tell me is too much, but I wanted to get him something he would not buy himself. I think it will be an interesting day. I told him I was taking Friday off to follow him around at work and hang balloons on each piece of equipment he uses on the job. Balloons on the excavator, more balloons on the bulldozer, and even more balloons all over his own truck. Haaa. I got the ole' Roll of the Eyes on that one. He knows I am kidding. I am taking the day off though, I do need to do some annoying decorating for his birthday. :-)

Happy Monday...NOT! It started off with the two idiot labs taking off in the rain this morning. Lucky for them, my Vaquita comes when I call her. I felt awful losing the dogs, but my Guy said "fuck em," they can stay in the rain. He did go home later to check and found them in their doghouse in the kennel. Jerks, making me worry. They are now spending the day outside and I am not letting them out anymore. They will have to wait until their Father gets out of bed and lets them out. To top off the stomach ache I had from worrying about Dumb and Dumber running the streets all morning, my Mom calls in tears. She locked her keys in her running car. There wasn't much I could do from work, so I could only make suggestions. What a mess...last I heard, she was waiting on someone from Ford Service to come down and help her. They give free roadside assistance on new vehicles. Phew, lucky for that!

Anyway, the week has to get better. CV is back from her vacation, so I have back up at the Farm. It's only a four day work week for me, which always makes things brighter. Also, for once, I have someone's birthday gifts way ahead of time and don't have to rush around the day of. I even bought a card...how friggin' good am I? Ha!

Stuffy and Cranky

I started back at Corporate last week. It was not nearly as nausiating as I thought it would be. Everyone was very happy to see me and the group seems pretty relaxed. Of course, I am not getting slammed with work quite yet, so we'll see how long it lasts. My typical luck; first week back, I got a terrible cold and had to call in last Thursday! I felt like a total ass, but JP said it was ok, not like I am new to the group really. I was feeling better Friday, until Vaquita decided to bark and cry all night, completely denying me even a couple hours of sleep. My immune system crashed due to exhaustion and I am now loaded with a ass-kicking virus, clogging my sinuses and making me wish I could drill a hole into the side of one of my eye sockets and drain the pressure. :(

I am supposed to go back to the old office tomorrow to train my replacement. I don't really see what I can do in one day, but I will amuse them and go on down. Part of me wants to see all the guys, I miss them already. I was sad leaving there, I am over it now, I do not want to be sad about it again.

The next 28 days are not going to be fun. I am treating one of the horses for EPM. The treatment is a nightly dose of a medicinal paste. CJ is a piss-ant son of a bitch when I worm him every other month, so to have to do it every night is not a treat. Last night he got pissed off and reared high enough to hit the top of his stall. Oh well, I didn't feel it. I did feel the wrenching of my back as I got after him about being such a dangerous shithead. I am not going through that crap for the next month. No one else at the barn can handle him, and I do not want to handle him, stubborn beast. People wonder why I prefer mares...they have more sense for personal safety. One argument and my mare decides the fight is not worth it. I can not wait until CJ's treatments are over and he is shipped off for training. Of course, I get his mother, a rather large Thoroughbred Mare, with the same pissy attitude as her mother (whom I had for 4 years) and her son. Good times! Will someone please remind me why I love horses? I forget sometimes.....

My Speckled Wonder

Vaquita's new nickname...."The Speckled Wonder". She is way too cute, isn't she?

Finally Time to Post

Well, this is my last week in my current office. Beginning Monday, I will be the technical goofball at corporate again. My friends there are excited to have me back, hoping I will lighten up the mood at corporate, but I am all set with getting into trouble for being too "happy" at the job again. I am planning on slapping on the headphones, turning up the music and going into the ZONE.

It's a slow day here, which is fine. I have not done much packing and have a lot of desk cleanup to do. It's amazing what one collects after only two years. Am I sad? Yes, somewhat. It would have been easier if I was allowed to leave a few weeks ago, when I was all riled up and pissed off at this place. Things have been more amicable as of late, making it harder to say goodbye. I know though, that nothing has changed, and the same old bullshit simply lingers in the background. Like the song "Smiling Faces Sometimes..." states;

Smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend
Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within.

Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes they don't tell the truth, uh
Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof.

I know the same old back-stabbing is going on, I just am not bothering to look for it anymore. They are angry I am "abandoning" them all, but if they really thought about it, they would know why and be truly ashamed.

The pup has been a bad Vaquita. She tried to bite my guy yesterday when he reprimanded her for chewing on my shoe. I got home to find her in the crate looking utterly guilty. She is a skittish little dog and definitely only trusts me, but she can not be biting people who try to pick her up. I guess I have to work harder on discipline, trouble is, I can not seem to make her mad enough to nip at me. We'll see, but she better cut the crap. Daddy is NOT HAPPY.

I had a scary day yesterday! I had brought my car to get new tires on Monday. One of the new tires had a hole in it, so I had to pick the car up with three new ones and one old one, but drove it home with no problem. On the way to work, the car was making an awful rattling noise. I thought maybe one of the tires was flat, so I got out and kicked the three new ones, they seemed fine. I didn't bother with the old tire, figuring it was not touched. Well, the noise got worse by the time I traveled the 30 miles to work, so I had one of the guys here drive it for me. He did not drive very far when he was sure something was very wrong. He jacked it up and after shaking the one old tire, realized it was VERY loose. The lugnuts were turned about once by hand, and fell off when he just put the lug wrench on them. I was told by all the guys that I was VERY lucky to have made it all that way without the tire falling off. It would have been a very different day for me if I had lost the tire. I am dropping the car off tonight for the fourth tire, and I am quite sure after the "chat" my Guy had with him, all my tires will be quadruple checked for tightness and if I need a new rim because of what happened, it will promptly be replaced. I had a guardian angel on my shoulder yesterday, for that I am very thankful!

No Time to Type, so Sharing Discoveries

I have not had time to post anything about my own days, but I was sent an article I felt was interesting enough to post. Any thoughts or opinions are greatly encouraged.

The Art of Not Being Offended
By Dr. Jodi Prinzivalli
There is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use it all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. This secret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. In order to truly be a master of this art, one must be able to see that every statement, action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their total life experience to date.

In other words, the majority of people in our world say and do what they do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to survive. Most of it, even when aimed directly at us, has nothing to do with us. Usually, it has more to do with all the other times, and in particular the first few times, that this person experienced a similar situation, usually when they were young.

Yes, this is psychodynamic. But let's face it, we live in a world where psychodynamics are what make the world go around. An individual who wishes to live successfully in the world as a spiritual person really needs to understand that psychology is as spiritual as prayer. In fact, the word psychology literally means the study of the soul.

All of that said, almost nothing is personal. Even with our closest loved ones, our beloved partners, our children and our friends. We are all swimming in the projections and filters of each other's life experiences and often we are just the stand-ins, the chess pieces of life to which our loved ones have their own built-in reactions. This is not to dehumanize life or take away the intimacy from our relationships, but mainly for us to know that almost every time we get offended, we are actually just in a misunderstanding.

A true embodiment of this idea actually allows for more intimacy and less suffering throughout all of our relationships. When we know that we are just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the right psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are doing — we don't have to take life personally. If it weren't us, it would likely be someone else.

This frees us to be a little more detached from the reactions of people around us. How often do we react to a statement of another by being offended rather than seeing that the other might actually be hurting? In fact, every time we get offended, it is actually an opportunity to extend kindness to one who may be suffering — even if they themselves do not appear that way on the surface. All anger, all acting out, all harshness, all criticism, is in truth a form of suffering. When we provide no Velcro for it to stick, something changes in the world. We do not even have to say a thing. In fact, it is usually better not to say a thing.

People who are suffering on the inside, but not showing it on the outside, are usually not keen on someone pointing out to them that they are suffering. We do not have to be our loved one's therapist. We need only understand the situation and move on. In the least, we ourselves experience less suffering and at best, we have a chance to make the world a better place.

This is also not to be confused with allowing ourselves to be hurt, neglected or taken advantage of. True compassion does not allow harm to ourselves either. But when we know that nothing is personal, a magical thing happens. Many of the seeming abusers of the world start to leave our lives. Once we are conscious, so-called abuse can only happen if we believe what the other is saying. When we know nothing is personal, we also do not end up feeling abused. We can say, "Thank you for sharing," and move on. We are not hooked by what another does or says, since we know it is not about us.

When we know that our inherent worth is not determined by what another says, does or believes, we can take the world a little less seriously. And if necessary, we can just walk away without creating more misery for ourselves or having to convince the other person that we are good and worthy people.

The great challenge of our world is to live a life of contentment, regardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The fine art of not being offended is one of the many skills for being a practical mystic. Though it may take a lifetime of practice, it is truly one of the best kept secrets for living a happy life.

Dr. Jodi Prinzivalli conducts workshops in the Chicago area regularly. She is the author of the recently released book How to Be a Mystic in a Traffic Jam.

Just Funny

A friend of mine sent this link. It amused me, so I am posting it. Enjoy.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/it_only_tuesday

Balance In A Crooked World

As some may have noticed, I am trying to enhance my blog a bit. I want to add more pictures, but of course, have not picked up my camera in a bit. It needs more cheer. I named this blog my Bandwagon Lanyard to make it my way of staying on the "positive bandwagon", but it had been hard lately. I decided writing about things which bother me is ok, but it needs balance. What better than pictures that make me smile?

Some Things Never Change

I try to think positive. I try to believe things will get better, but lately...bah! I still have no idea when my job switch will occur. This is my third transfer within this company and the third time I have been screwed around with by the powers that be. Some things never change.

I am the Queen of interesting email signatures at work. I love changing them on a near weekly basis, modifying the font and changing the little picture, depending on my mood. Well, no more! It is against company policy.

Note: The use of icons, i.e., pictures of phones, faxes, and trucks, logos, happy faces, etc. are prohibited. The use of colored, textured, pictured or backgrounds with graphics are also prohibited.

They have created an utterly boring template signature, which we MUST all use. There will be NO INDIVIDUALITY in this company. Fun of any kind must be stomped. We are merely minions to a huge corporation; drones, if you will. It is a sad day when I must delete my utterly adorable signature creations. A sad day indeed. Some things never change.

I was told that I could expect reimbursement on a load to someone, which is nearly 2 years past due. When I read the message stating I could expect a weekly check, my first thought was...same old story, different day. Part of me did want to believe things had changed, that this person would follow through on an old promise. Alas, two weeks later, nothing. Am I surprised? No. Am I disappointed? I can not help it, yes I am. I want to believe in people. Sometimes it just does not help. Could there be a logical explanation? Possibly, but how many times can one be burned by false-hope before finally accepting the truth. Some things never change.

I lost my mojo, yet again. This slump I have fallen into seems to be unending. I am letting things get to me, which a year ago would have rolled off my chest. What happened? I think a combination of a lot of different stresses and events over the past several months has just brought me down. I have been here before and just need to slap myself out of it. I need to stop dwelling on the little things and remember things are getting better, I have more positives than negatives and I am learning. I forget that sometimes. Some things never change.

A Whole Lot of Thinking, Not A Lot of Typing

I have probably written 5 blogs in the past 3 days. Trouble is, they were all in my head. My mind normally is spinning while I drive, thoughts about the past day, my present mission and all the crap I have to do in the near future. It tends to make for a lot of missed turns and forgotten errands.

Lately, I have been thinking about getting older. I am thirty, soon to be thirty-one years old. No, I am not old (though I feel old many pain-ridden days). Many of my friends are either getting married or having babies. Should I feel left behind? I have a wonderful man in my life. I would marry him in an instant, but really, it is not something I crave. I do not sit home wishing he would propose. I do not ever bring up marriage and children. I am enjoying just being around him. We have things to do. He is fighting for custody of his daughter. We are both busy with work. We are in no hurry. Is there something wrong with that fact? I often wonder if I am abnormal because I am not looking to be married and have children. I am not sure if I ever want to have a baby. I figure when the time comes and the question arises, I will see how I feel then. I know my Guy wants to marry me someday and possibly have a baby, but I guess I avoid the topic. He is not the kind of man to hold back and wonder how I feel. If he wanted to know, he would ask.

So many people rush into marriage, getting engaged after only a few months of seeing someone. I do not understand the rush. How can one really know another after such a short period of time. My Guy and I are approaching our one year anniversary, and we are still learning about each other, our likes/dislikes, odd habits and what it is like to live with each other. I think some people just want to be married. They want to say they are engaged and then married. They want that pretty little picture, when really they need something completely different. It is interesting to watch. Humans are always in such a hurry for satisfaction. I will say, my friends who are having or just did have children were smart enough to be married for at least a few years prior to trying to have a baby. They thought more about their future children than about the status symbol some people consider a baby.

I am not going to be in a hurry. I want to be settled. I can not be a good wife and could not possibly consider children until I am happy with my own existence. I want to be proud of my career. I want a home in which I feel comfortable. I want to go to bed each night knowing I have done well with my day. I want to be content. I have time, I am going to use it.

Mixed Reviews

I took a four day weekend this past weekend. I have a week of vacation left to use and want to use it before the job transfer. I, of course, had all sorts of plans for the weekend, but didn't get half of them done. I can't say the weekend was great, nor can I say it was bad. What makes me truly angry is one event is marring my entire weekend, all because of one lie. I hate being lied to, especially by someone I am supposed to be able to trust. It was unnecessary and disrespectful, but what else is new these days. I officially give up trying to keep everyone happy. I am lucky to have my Guy in my life. If it weren't for him, I think I would have packed up and left town by now.

Anyway, forget the bad shit. I did have fun this weekend. Friday night a group of us headed to Rhode Island for the Lipazzaner Stallions Show. It was a good time, amazing horses, amazing riders. I am not sure the men were very impressed, but eh..the women had fun. The most fun the men had occurred when one of the riders was almost tossed, after one of the Andalusian Stallions let out a powerful Capriole. To see a Capriole from the ground, check out this link. http://www.lipizzaner.com/Capriole.asp. Now picture a rider attempting to stay seated...unbelievable. He did stay on, but galloped out of the arena hanging off the side of this beautiful horse.

Saturday night I laughed harder than I have in a long time!! I went to dinner with a few friends at a local restaurant and had an amazing time. There are numerous pictures illustrating our antics, but none I will be posting. I haven't even shown them to my Guy yet....I wimped out! There was a Blues Band playing that night, so we danced, drank (too much) and ate (again...too much). I was in tears at least five times throughout the night. It was way too much fun, and we are planning to go back when that band returns. A little drunken debauchery once is awhile is ok, right?

Sunday was much more tame. We took J-bird apple/pumpkin picking with another family. We certainly did not need more apples, as we haven't eaten the ones from our last excursion. We did get 4 great pumpkins to be carved/decorated this coming weekend. We then went to dinner at my Guy's Dad's house. I like his Dad, nice guy and of course amusing sarcastic, like his two sons. J-bird and I just could not keep up with her Daddy at soccer. He never lets us win..the bully. J and I did laugh though, we love Our Guy!

Yesterday I spent money I do not have. I had to get some new clothes, as I have nothing to wear to the new job. I can wear whatever I want at my current office, but going to corporate means "business casual" wear, and I did not have any. I hate shopping, but I did get a few things that will get me by for the moment. My current boss refuses to confirm when I will be leaving, but my 30 days is up on the 26th, so replacement or not, I am out of here then. I requested the 25th and 26th off, we'll see if it is approved. I am having some people to dinner on the 26th, and knowing me and my cooking skills, I am definitely going to need the day to prepare.

Well, back to work. I have plenty to do...Wish me luck.

What's The Difference?

I honestly do not see the difference between "borrowing" money from someone, with no real intentions to pay it back, and stealing the money. I hate owing people money, including my credit card companies. How come some people do not feel guilty? Even if the money was taken from someone who has more than enough, it is still that person's money. I work for my money, if I need more, I should work harder. Now, I realize, there are extenuating circumstances that make borrowing from friends or family a necessity at the time, but to not pay the lender back is, in my opinion, shameful. My Mom offered to lend me money to help pay for all the medical expenses associated with Vaquita, but the pup was my choice and my problem. Granted I am now in a bit of financial distress, but I will fix it on my own. The worst is watching the person who borrowed the money spend any extra money that comes about later on frivolous things, rather than paying back debts...I just do not get it. No conscience, I guess. I have watched so many people fall into this "borrowing" hole, and once it starts, it never stops.

A friend of mine is dealing with this issue now with her ex-husband. He did not borrow money from her, but owes more credit agencies that I could count and because he was married to her at the time, the collection agencies are harassing my friend. I think that is so unfair. This guy just wanders around, not caring that his family is being constantly contacted about his debts. Again...where's the guilt?!

I am lucky. I have finally surrounded myself with people who are honest and trustworthy. I am with a guy who works extremely hard and accepts responsibility for all his own expenses. I have friends who, though they know I would lend them money if they needed, would never ask because they are responsible. Though I am seriously lacking in funds myself right now, it is ok because it will teach me to save more and move my money to and from different accounts to make everything balance out. I am learning from my experience and accepting great advise from those around me. It's all about learning.

Protein Shakes...Yuck!

My Chiro has informed me that if I do not eat more protein that I will age faster, have more wrinkles, become depressed and senile. Of course, in the near future, he is more concerned about my building muscle and healing the damage I have done to myself already. My back has been pretty wrecked as of late, 99% of the cause is stress. Some people get cranky when they are stressed, some eat, some don't eat...I injure my back. I am working to relieve some of the stress, but I also need to repair the current damage...hopefully be able to ride my horse and workout again soon.

I do not eat red meat, poultry or pork, therefore my protein must come from seafood. The doc said that proteins from vegetable/bean based foods are not as beneficial as animal-based proteins. I also do not have time for more than a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and normally skip dinner. We calculated I was eating 10-15grams of protein a day..and I need 70! I have been drinking Boost with Protein and eating as much seafood as I can find. I took the doc's advise and picked up a container of a protein shake powder and though I tried, I just can't drink it. It is awful!!! Maybe it is this type, maybe I need to mix it in a blender with ice (and a shot of Bailey's), but as is...no way Jose! I will work on it though. I will try anything at this point.

On a more positive note, I got the new/old job. They will give me a BIG raise and let me keep my hours, so that is sweet. I can not wait to get out of here. I am going to use my last week of vacation in the next month, as I am sure they will hold me as long as they can. Ah well, my time will come.

Bookclub (or as my Guy calls it, the "Cult") is meeting next week. We have been reading "Marching Powder" by Rusty Young. If anyone is into really crazy NON-Fiction, this is a great read. The story is about an English man who lives in a Bolivian Prison. This prison is like nothing one could ever imagine. I am still in shock as what I have read. I highly recommend this one. The discussion should be interesting.

The Lipizzaner Stallions are coming to the area..and I am going! I saw them years ago and loved it. A group of us is going next week to see them, it should be a really good time, as three couples are going together...Three horse women and three NON-horse men. The men will be pleasantly surprised. I brought a guy I used to date the first time I saw this show and he really enjoyed it, despite his animosity toward horses. I can't wait, there is nothing more amusing than proving the sarcastic men wrong. :-)

Gotta Go

Well, I am leaving my job. Oddly enough, I am returning to my previous position and heading back to corporate. I would prefer to leave the company all together, but I need a job and they are offering me a large raise and allowing me to keep my hours. Recent events have made it impossible for me to stay on in my current position. I do not like to be bad-mouthed and talked about behind my back. I do not like to have all the work dumped on me, while someone else spends all the time chatting on the phone. I should not be doing data entry. Therefore, I am going back to a job which challenges my brain and utilizes my scientific background. As much as I HATE corporate, I have to make this change. It's time.....

Now Honey...Don't Be Mad.

My Guy left work early yesterday to go fishing with his buddy. They have gone a few times this year, but not until last night did they catch anything. I was very proud of him, and it was good that he got out to relax and have fun with one of the guys. His friend could not believe I did not call him while they were out. Like my Guy said, I never call. I knew where he was and have things to do myself. I mean, if it was midnight and I had not heard from him, I might call out of worry, but I will only call once. I am not a nag.

Which brings me to the amusing story I just heard from my boss....Who, I might add, is constantly in trouble with his wife.

B had gone fishing with some buddies last Saturday night. He called the Wife to tell her that they were all going to a local bar for a few beers after fishing. Well, they did not end up at the bar, instead they ended up at a poker game. Now I am sure it was bad enough that B was playing poker, as his Wife is constantly on him about money, but to top it all off, he did not get home until 3am...bombed out of his mind. She alerted his nextel a minimum of 10x and left him four voice messages. He sat there thinking, as the phone kept ringing..."If I answer it now, I will get yelled at now and again when I walk through the door. If I don't answer it, I will just get yelled at once, when I get home." B decided to go with option 2. He discoverd option 2 was not a good idea. As he staggered through the door, totally shitfaced, with his bag of MacDonald's chicken nuggets and fries, the Wife was MAD. He said he just sat on the couch, eating his nuggets, while she let explitories fly and chastised him for being late and not calling. He could not argue, she was right and he was too drunk to defend himself.

So, I am wondering....What should he have done? He is 30-something years old, works hard, takes care of the two kids all the time, but likes to have fun sometimes and over-indulge. I am not married, so maybe I can not quite comprehend, but I think other than being a bit pissed because I worried, what could I really say. He's an adult. My Guy doesn't usually stay out that late and doesn't get totally drunk, so maybe I am just lucky.

I just had to laugh. Knowing his Wife, his options sucked. It made for an amusing story for the rest of us though.