Everything Would Be Better With Sunshine

There has been a lot going on lately, but nothing about which I was too keen on writing. Though out it all, I just sit and eagerly anticipate Spring and taking some time off. I really need a vacation, but no money to travel and the weather is too crappy to waste my vacation time.

I applied for a job with the State. I hope I get a call soon. A friend of mine works there as an engineer and thinks I could do the job and would enjoy it, as I would be outside most of the time. I am tired of sitting in my little cubicle, surrounded by people who apparently think we are still in High School.

I got a gorgeous necklace for V-day. My Honey is way to good to me, I keep telling him I am spoiled. My back hurt the other day and he was outside in the freezing cold getting the hottub ready for me. He does so much for me, just says with a smile, "the things I do for you." Hee hee, he loves me. He has to love me. My puppy chewed the corner of his couch, along with all the dining room chairs and the cabinet corners and he has not thrown us out. I am lucky...Vaquita is damn lucky! Little Menace!

A good friend of mine had a baby last week, her first. All weekend I had this awful feeling something was not right. I spoke to her yesterday and things were not going well. She had a second surgery due to internal bleeding and the baby was having trouble breathing yesterday. I am still waiting to hear how they are, trying to stay positive. She deserves to take her baby home, healthy and happy. I was in tears just about all day yesterday, so worried for them both. I just can not imagine how she must be feeling.

Is there anything cuter??

My pup is too cute...even if she is on the couch from which her Daddy has banned all dogs. Oops...I couldn't kick her off without getting a few shots first.

Capall and Me

My riding season did not end well last year with my horse. Through a couple falls, my back being out of whack and just general stresses, I lost the bond with my horse that I had treasured the year before. I became frustrated with bad rides and scared to fall and hurt my back more, so I stopped riding very early in the season. To be completely honest, I just dropped my horse all together and she's PISSED.

I need to make it up to her. Like CV says, that mare loves me and tries so hard to please, but she also knows when I am not "there" for her. Now she walks away from me, pulls her head away when I go to pat her and is generally hornery with me. It is completely my fault, and I know that.

I have been reading "Chicken Soup for the Horse Lovers Soul." It was a birthday gift from CV and it could not have come at a better time. The weather will be getting better soon (hopefully) and I will need to get ready to ride. My back is still not up to par and my mare is still feeling rejected, so we will take it slow. Through reading this book and the wonderful stories in it, I have come to a realization about what lead to the decline in my riding abilities. I forgot why I wanted this horse in the first place. Yes, she is a lovely mover. Maybe she should be in the show ring, winning ribbons in dressage. Maybe I should want to show off my hard work and be proud of my abilities. I am proud, no, I was proud. I am not proud of the fact that my trying so hard to get it perfect and impress those who were pushing me to enter the dressage world and show has put a rift between my horse and I. It is not about winning ribbons or making anyone else happy. I love my horses because they are my friends, because they calm me and give me purpose. They need me, yet I need them so much more. I need Capall to look at me with the soft eyes I used to see. I need to know her next move before she makes it, like I did with my old friends of the past. I need to sit quietly in the field and relax, every few minutes feeling her soft my muzzle moving my foot about as she nibbles grass next to me. I want Capall to trust me again, to not flare up with nervousness when I pull out her tack. I want us both to enjoy our time. I miss my friend, I know she misses me. It's time to begin mending the rift. It will not be easy, mares are not one's to easily forgive. It's ok though, we have all the time in the world.