Monday, December 29, 2008
That Was Fast
Christmas is over. It went ok. I was not into celebrating this year and my back bothering me didn't help my mood any. I feel bad, I was quite crabby Christmas Eve and just wanted to stay in bed Christmas Day. I did have a good time. My Guy and I had a nice breakfast with my Mom on Christmas day and then messed with some of our gifts. Saturday was our two year anniversary...which both of us forgot. Oops! It's ok, we went to dinner and had a nice time just enjoying time together. Two years and still very happy together. He makes me smile. He thinks I am crazy. We were chatting at dinner and I said that we need rocking chairs to put on the farmer's porch of the house. Men never will admit to liking rocking chairs (unless it's a big lounge chair). Well, with my typical smirk, I asked him if he would "rock with me"...I could see us as two old people rocking together. He just looks at me like I am a nutjob when I come up with these ideas. When dinner was over and we climbed into his truck, he turned on the radio. I kid you not...the song playing on the radio..."Rock With You" by Michael Jackson!!! I got all excited and said it was a sign that we would be together forever. He groaned, but I know he loved it. Haaaa, so funny!!! Poor guy is stuck with me.
Friday, December 19, 2008
My Movie
Many times I wish I were an artist. If I could draw the images I have in my head, possibly it might help others understand my thoughts a bit better, possibly it might help me understand me a bit better.
As of late, I have been attempting to picture what my life is, in general. What do I see? I see myself, sitting between what appear to be two movie reels. One of the world, other people's lives, those close to me, people I run into throughout my day and the world population. Behind me is a reel displaying my own life, my dreams, my desires, my passions. I face the images that are not my own, but those of others. I watch to learn, I watch because I want to find a way to make the lives of those around me better. On occassion I turn to look at the images of myself, but that reel moves faster. The more I reach for it, the faster it flies past. Why can't I turn around and concentrate on me? Why can't I grab those dreams and desires and make them a reality? Why do I concentrate so much on the joys and troubles of others, while my own fly past me at lightening speed? I want "my movie" to move forward, not backward as it appears to me. I want to jump into the future and move with it...not watch it flow past.
Someday I will make my "movie"...something I will love to watch!
Monday, December 15, 2008
10 Steps Back
Until this past weekend, I was feeling pretty confident that my back problems would be done with by summer. I felt strong, any pain was short-lived...I was optimistic. That marvelous feeling did not last. I let things bring me down, many that I should have let roll off.
Who gets poison ivy in the winter? Me! I am guessing that what the dog ran through a week ago, when she randomly decided to veer off the path, was poison ivy or some other rash causing plant. Lucky me, I touched her right afterward and Whammo! I now have itchy blisters on my neck, above my eye and on my hand. I wake up scratching, only to make it all worse. I am just about bathing in Caladryl.
A friend of mine wants a job back with the corporation for which I work. Why, I will never know. She hated it here, got a job with a better company and now wants back in here. She has applied for a few jobs, only to be passed over. I knew of a job that would be posted at some point, but did not know when. She is now upset with me because I did not push her resume on the supervisor who would do the hiring for this new posting back months before it was ever posted. I knew he would not hold onto it, they have to wait for a posting from HR. Yet, she now believes I do not want her back here. I am left angry at the accusation and wondering how/why I get myself involved in this bullshit. "Don't take it on"...I need to remember that advice!
The passing of my very good friend's Father has brought me to a solemn place. I wish I could make her feel better, but I know only time can heal. He has been ill for a long time now. The kicker of it all is the fact that her Mother died on the exact same day six years prior! What are the chances? Does this make it easier because she already hated this date, and now can continue hating it, just double as much? Or does this fact make it worse, one unbelievably bad date in time?
Who gets poison ivy in the winter? Me! I am guessing that what the dog ran through a week ago, when she randomly decided to veer off the path, was poison ivy or some other rash causing plant. Lucky me, I touched her right afterward and Whammo! I now have itchy blisters on my neck, above my eye and on my hand. I wake up scratching, only to make it all worse. I am just about bathing in Caladryl.
A friend of mine wants a job back with the corporation for which I work. Why, I will never know. She hated it here, got a job with a better company and now wants back in here. She has applied for a few jobs, only to be passed over. I knew of a job that would be posted at some point, but did not know when. She is now upset with me because I did not push her resume on the supervisor who would do the hiring for this new posting back months before it was ever posted. I knew he would not hold onto it, they have to wait for a posting from HR. Yet, she now believes I do not want her back here. I am left angry at the accusation and wondering how/why I get myself involved in this bullshit. "Don't take it on"...I need to remember that advice!
The passing of my very good friend's Father has brought me to a solemn place. I wish I could make her feel better, but I know only time can heal. He has been ill for a long time now. The kicker of it all is the fact that her Mother died on the exact same day six years prior! What are the chances? Does this make it easier because she already hated this date, and now can continue hating it, just double as much? Or does this fact make it worse, one unbelievably bad date in time?
Monday, December 01, 2008
When is my next day off??
I have my third session of acupuncture tonight. So far, I am not sure if I see a difference. Being out of work for 5 days straight helped me to not be in constant paint, but still it hurts. I am running again, taking my time to build up strength, rather than rushing it and really hurting myself. I have slacked off as of late eating enough protein, but with Thanksgiving, I just didn't have time for a normal diet. Last week was rough, from the two shit-bag days at work, to taking Jade to the vet because of her vision and then my Mom getting hurt on Wednesday. Nothing seemed to go as I had hoped, though Thanksgiving dinner itself went well.
I finally was able to go out and buy Mom her new bed. With her falling and getting hurt, she absolutely needed to have a comfortable bed. So far, she seems happy with what I chose. As far as shopping for Christmas, I have no idea what to buy and no idea where to get the money to do the purchasing! I am going to try to just relax about it...people will get what they get. It is the thought that counts, right? :-)
I finally was able to go out and buy Mom her new bed. With her falling and getting hurt, she absolutely needed to have a comfortable bed. So far, she seems happy with what I chose. As far as shopping for Christmas, I have no idea what to buy and no idea where to get the money to do the purchasing! I am going to try to just relax about it...people will get what they get. It is the thought that counts, right? :-)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Trying Something New
I had my first ever acupuncture experience last night. I decided after spending hundreds with a chiropractor and doing as many different exercises I could find, I was tired of hurting. Of course, my insurance does not cover any of it, and it is quite expensive, but if it works...it's most definitely worth it! There is no point in having money in the bank if I am in too much pain to go out and enjoy spending it.
The acupuncturist was a very nice woman. I really liked her, down to earth and pretty funny. She made me feel very comfortable and obviously is passionate about helping people. I have to go oncee a week for the next month, hopefully feeling better each time and for longer periods.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
New Pics
Nothing exciting, just the first pics I have saved on the new computer. I am disappointed in the quality, but I am no photographer...that I can admit!!
My Attempt at Capturing a Full Moon:
A black and white photo of a black and white pup.
Dyna-Dog looking good.
Isis reveling in her freedom.
The Jungle Chow.
My Attempt at Capturing a Full Moon:
A black and white photo of a black and white pup.
Dyna-Dog looking good.
Isis reveling in her freedom.
The Jungle Chow.
Monday, October 06, 2008
No Luck.....
I never made it to King Richard's Faire. It rained AGAIN yesterday. I did not know it would rain. Ugh! I have two weekends left to try to get there. I am determined!
Friday night was fun. I went to dinner with the women from bookclub. They are a riot. We ate, drank wine, talked politics, men, and just random topics. It was great to laugh like that.
Saturday was a slow day. I fed the horses, ran errands, walked the dogs with Mom and then went home to exercise and do laundry. My guy was working, but when he got home, we headed out for Mexican for dinner. We had not had Mexican in awhile (not something I would eat often...not the healthiest). It was yummy though, as always.
I was utterly disappointed to get up Sunday morning to find it raining. My guy was doing a quick job in the morning, so I watched some tv, exercised and showered. He had to deliver a load of mulch to a customer, so we headed out to take care of that job. Having nothing better to do until later in the afternoon, we decided to go look at cars for me. I still wanted to see the inside of a Nissan Rogue and Toyota Rav4. We did not have much luck. The idiots at the Nissan dealer were too afraid they might melt in the rain to come out and talk to us. We then drove into the Toyota dealership to check out the Rav4's. As we had done at the 3 other dealerships we went to, my Guy drove his truck around the lot to the cars in question. A salesman followed us out there, and rather than asking what he could do to help us, he blew any possible sale. "That's an awfully big truck you are driving around these new cars. The owners are here and they do not like people to drive around the lot, you could hit something. Could you move your truck to the other parking lot and walk?" In the rain...doubt it! If he couldn't handle such a large truck, he would not own one. He could have driven a tractor trailer around that lot and not hit something. My guy was pissed, so we left. Morons! I did not believe I would ever buy from that dealership anyway, as I had heard very negative things about them in the past, but now it's clinched.
Figuring we might as well get something done while we were out, I asked that we stop at a nearby pet store to get the new food for the pup that the vet recommended. They only had it in 50lbs bags! That would last me months with my wee girl, so no luck there. Oh well, back to the drawing board!
Friday night was fun. I went to dinner with the women from bookclub. They are a riot. We ate, drank wine, talked politics, men, and just random topics. It was great to laugh like that.
Saturday was a slow day. I fed the horses, ran errands, walked the dogs with Mom and then went home to exercise and do laundry. My guy was working, but when he got home, we headed out for Mexican for dinner. We had not had Mexican in awhile (not something I would eat often...not the healthiest). It was yummy though, as always.
I was utterly disappointed to get up Sunday morning to find it raining. My guy was doing a quick job in the morning, so I watched some tv, exercised and showered. He had to deliver a load of mulch to a customer, so we headed out to take care of that job. Having nothing better to do until later in the afternoon, we decided to go look at cars for me. I still wanted to see the inside of a Nissan Rogue and Toyota Rav4. We did not have much luck. The idiots at the Nissan dealer were too afraid they might melt in the rain to come out and talk to us. We then drove into the Toyota dealership to check out the Rav4's. As we had done at the 3 other dealerships we went to, my Guy drove his truck around the lot to the cars in question. A salesman followed us out there, and rather than asking what he could do to help us, he blew any possible sale. "That's an awfully big truck you are driving around these new cars. The owners are here and they do not like people to drive around the lot, you could hit something. Could you move your truck to the other parking lot and walk?" In the rain...doubt it! If he couldn't handle such a large truck, he would not own one. He could have driven a tractor trailer around that lot and not hit something. My guy was pissed, so we left. Morons! I did not believe I would ever buy from that dealership anyway, as I had heard very negative things about them in the past, but now it's clinched.
Figuring we might as well get something done while we were out, I asked that we stop at a nearby pet store to get the new food for the pup that the vet recommended. They only had it in 50lbs bags! That would last me months with my wee girl, so no luck there. Oh well, back to the drawing board!
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Nothing too new and exctiting
Well, finally the new computer is set up and ready to go. I did have a big of a panic to start off, since the idiots that put it together neglected to connect the hard drive to the power supply, but thanks for a kind and patient tech, we figured it out and all is well.
It is cold outside!!! Mom went to turn the heat on this morning, and the oil burner would not come one. Pretending I could help, I wandered downstairs, flicked some breakers, hit some buttons...nothing. For a last ditch effort, I whacked the motor 3 times and WALLA! It came on. I turned to Mom, "that will be $100." Needless to say, no money for me. I did get a tuna sandwich though. :)
So time to clean the house and maybe go food shopping. Tomorrow King Richard's Faire is on the schedule (hopefully). I can't wait!!
I did find a cd with some pics I thought I did not have anymore.
Cranberry Bogs in Fall:
My Cousin's Pony Derby:
My Beloved Kayla...I miss her:
A Scene I Am Not Looking Forward To:
It is cold outside!!! Mom went to turn the heat on this morning, and the oil burner would not come one. Pretending I could help, I wandered downstairs, flicked some breakers, hit some buttons...nothing. For a last ditch effort, I whacked the motor 3 times and WALLA! It came on. I turned to Mom, "that will be $100." Needless to say, no money for me. I did get a tuna sandwich though. :)
So time to clean the house and maybe go food shopping. Tomorrow King Richard's Faire is on the schedule (hopefully). I can't wait!!
I did find a cd with some pics I thought I did not have anymore.
Cranberry Bogs in Fall:
My Cousin's Pony Derby:
My Beloved Kayla...I miss her:
A Scene I Am Not Looking Forward To:
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
I HATE COMPUTERS!!!
Both of my computers have decided to crap out on me. The main PC has been threatening for awhile now, and as this is not the first time, I am not even going to bother to figure out what is wrong with it. I might give it to a friend to take parts from it, or it will go in the trash after being kicked across the driveway. My laptop is bogged down as well. It wants to do a Windows Service pack update, but I am not set up to back up everything, so the thought of losing my stuff makes me very queasy. I am tempted to just buy a new PC, but spending that kind of money right now is not appealing to me. I need to update the laptop, get it some more memory and maybe a backup drive to help it out. We shall see. My friend is having issues with her computer as well and making me crazy with questions on how to deal with the latest error messages. She is lucky she knows how to turn it on, never mind make a decision on what is a virus or a real update. Ugh!
Computers Suck.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Nyctophobia - Recently Discovered
In my 31 years of life, I have never been home alone when the electricity has gone out (at night anyway). It seems unbelievable, I know, but I have never lived alone...so it's not easy to never be home alone at night. I have always had a intense dislike for the dark. The barn owner put up five new flood lights because of my issues with darkness. It all came to a head Sunday night around 8:30pm. My guy was out and I was upstairs getting ready to exercise when the lights began to dim. I figured the AC was draining the power more than usual, but then they began flashing on and off repeatedly, until finally going out completely. We are not prepared for "lights out" at the house, no candles and one flashlight that I use to take the dogs out, and it was at the other side of the house. Luckily for me, I had decided to leave my laptop computer on, and the battery kicked in, giving me the light from the screen. I got down the the kitchen to the flashlight, my cell phone and the dogs, but was panic-stricken. I have never been so scared, ever! I did not realize I would have such a reaction to this situation. Lucky for me, my friend Karen was willing to talk to me for an hour until the lights came back on. I am very grateful. Now that I know how deep my phobia goes in my psyche, I am going to make sure there are more flashlights in the house and that all the doors are locked when I am home alone. I am never going through that again!
Friday, September 05, 2008
I tend to avoid politics but......
I think this is important to see....funny too.
http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=184086
http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=184086
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
We are in such trouble.
I just want to say that the happenings at the Republican National Convention have me very disturbed. I fear for this insane country more now than ever. The writers in Hollywood would not have been able to make up this shit. We are in such trouble!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
It was a busy weekend, I figured I would share it. Thursday night was great. My guy and I went to see comedian Jeff Dunham. He was hysterical as usual! He also had "Guitar Guy" opening for him and joining in for parts of the show. That man is insanely great on the guitar and funny as hell. It was truly an enjoyable evening, worth every penny!
Knowing it would be a late night, I took Friday off. Mom was off as well, so we took the dogs to the beach first thing. Isis loves the ocean. Dyna isn't a fan of the waves, but she did enjoy eating whatever the hell it was she found in the grass. YUCK! Vaquita was having a good time as well until Dyna ran at her, nearly running the pup over and therefore scaring the crap out of a dog that is scared of the mere thought of her own shadow.
I had a gift card to the mall, so I decided to ATTEMPT to find some new clothes. I did not do too well, got a pair of jeans and some shorts. Of course I need work clothes...oh well, maybe next year. I also got my hair cut. Deciding to throw caution to the wind (I know, brave aren't I?), I got BANGS! I have not had bangs since maybe Middle School...been a LOOOONG time. If the girl had listened to me and given me long bangs, I would be happier, but she seemed to neglect the fact that hair shrinks up as it dries and curls, so now they are a bit shorter than I would have liked, but it's ok. Like my guy said, "hair grows." Infinitely wise isn't he? Oye.
Having time to kill before my guy got home from work, I decided on a bike ride. The skies appeared a bit ominous, but not so much as to deter me from a ride. I have lived in Middleboro for about 7 years now, but I still love sight-seeing there. About 40 minutes into my ride, the phone rang. My guy was stuck in traffic leaving Boston and would not be home in time to pick J-bird up from camp. It was 3:50, the bus drops her off at 4:10....I had 20 mins to ride back the route that took me 40 mins to travel. I had a lot more energy on the way out. I have never peddled so fast to get home, threw on a hat, got into my Guy's truck and was in the parking lot in plenty of time. The bus was late, of course! In the rush of picking up J, I left my bike outside...needless to say it got a bath that night in the pouring rain. :(
At one point in my Friday adventures, I headed to the grocery store for some sushi grade tuna steaks, steamers, and beer. The tuna was fantastic on the grill, with the help of my delicious marinade. (Don't ask me how I made it, I totally made it up in my head...not to be duplicated, oh well.) A little garlic and some beer to help them cough up all the dirt they collected, led to some rather delicious steamers for an appetizer. I even sauteed some fresh summer veggies from the garden, mouth-watering and healthy! Dinner was great, so good we fell asleep on the couch after dinner at 7:30pm with some full stomachs and big smiles.
Saturday morning brought the usual routine....breakfast for the horses. I need a coffee maker at the barn. Nothing worse than horses kicking stall walls when one has not had at least one cup of coffee. I then ran home, exercised and got ready for a cookout at my ex-bosses house. The field office for which I worked the previous two years was having their annual summer shindig and they were kind enough to invite me. It was great to see my guys. I miss them all. I do not miss the work, but those guys are a riot, I love them! I got to catch up on all the latest stories of screw-ups and practical jokes on the job sites. It was great fun! A couple of the boys also told me I looked really hot...that always helps a girl enjoy her evening. :)
Sunday the usual crew went boating, the Sunday activity. I was able to bring my kayak and cruise around the pond for a bit. There were a lot of boats on the water, making it quite rocky for the kayak and rough for the guys when they were skiing. We were proud of our friend's 6yr old son, who finally decided he would ride in the tube and then wanted to keep riding. His Dad had to ride with him, but it is a start!
Now I am tired and can not wait for this coming weekend. I do not have to feed the horses breakfast, covering lunch instead. Sunday I can sleep in a bit because we are not going boating. My Guy's twin nephews are turning 2...big party in their honor. It is only Tuesday, but I will make it. 8am wake-up...here I come!
Knowing it would be a late night, I took Friday off. Mom was off as well, so we took the dogs to the beach first thing. Isis loves the ocean. Dyna isn't a fan of the waves, but she did enjoy eating whatever the hell it was she found in the grass. YUCK! Vaquita was having a good time as well until Dyna ran at her, nearly running the pup over and therefore scaring the crap out of a dog that is scared of the mere thought of her own shadow.
I had a gift card to the mall, so I decided to ATTEMPT to find some new clothes. I did not do too well, got a pair of jeans and some shorts. Of course I need work clothes...oh well, maybe next year. I also got my hair cut. Deciding to throw caution to the wind (I know, brave aren't I?), I got BANGS! I have not had bangs since maybe Middle School...been a LOOOONG time. If the girl had listened to me and given me long bangs, I would be happier, but she seemed to neglect the fact that hair shrinks up as it dries and curls, so now they are a bit shorter than I would have liked, but it's ok. Like my guy said, "hair grows." Infinitely wise isn't he? Oye.
Having time to kill before my guy got home from work, I decided on a bike ride. The skies appeared a bit ominous, but not so much as to deter me from a ride. I have lived in Middleboro for about 7 years now, but I still love sight-seeing there. About 40 minutes into my ride, the phone rang. My guy was stuck in traffic leaving Boston and would not be home in time to pick J-bird up from camp. It was 3:50, the bus drops her off at 4:10....I had 20 mins to ride back the route that took me 40 mins to travel. I had a lot more energy on the way out. I have never peddled so fast to get home, threw on a hat, got into my Guy's truck and was in the parking lot in plenty of time. The bus was late, of course! In the rush of picking up J, I left my bike outside...needless to say it got a bath that night in the pouring rain. :(
At one point in my Friday adventures, I headed to the grocery store for some sushi grade tuna steaks, steamers, and beer. The tuna was fantastic on the grill, with the help of my delicious marinade. (Don't ask me how I made it, I totally made it up in my head...not to be duplicated, oh well.) A little garlic and some beer to help them cough up all the dirt they collected, led to some rather delicious steamers for an appetizer. I even sauteed some fresh summer veggies from the garden, mouth-watering and healthy! Dinner was great, so good we fell asleep on the couch after dinner at 7:30pm with some full stomachs and big smiles.
Saturday morning brought the usual routine....breakfast for the horses. I need a coffee maker at the barn. Nothing worse than horses kicking stall walls when one has not had at least one cup of coffee. I then ran home, exercised and got ready for a cookout at my ex-bosses house. The field office for which I worked the previous two years was having their annual summer shindig and they were kind enough to invite me. It was great to see my guys. I miss them all. I do not miss the work, but those guys are a riot, I love them! I got to catch up on all the latest stories of screw-ups and practical jokes on the job sites. It was great fun! A couple of the boys also told me I looked really hot...that always helps a girl enjoy her evening. :)
Sunday the usual crew went boating, the Sunday activity. I was able to bring my kayak and cruise around the pond for a bit. There were a lot of boats on the water, making it quite rocky for the kayak and rough for the guys when they were skiing. We were proud of our friend's 6yr old son, who finally decided he would ride in the tube and then wanted to keep riding. His Dad had to ride with him, but it is a start!
Now I am tired and can not wait for this coming weekend. I do not have to feed the horses breakfast, covering lunch instead. Sunday I can sleep in a bit because we are not going boating. My Guy's twin nephews are turning 2...big party in their honor. It is only Tuesday, but I will make it. 8am wake-up...here I come!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
New Quote
I know...I am a total quote junkie. This one came from a website called women-at-heart.
"I did not lose myself all at once. I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain, the same way carvings on stone are worn down by water.”
-- Amy Tan
"I did not lose myself all at once. I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain, the same way carvings on stone are worn down by water.”
-- Amy Tan
Friday, August 01, 2008
Happy Friday??
Not quite. The day has not begun well. I have account managers bitching at me because the plants will not take their customer's waste. I have to review the work of someone who is listed as "lead" in our group and paid at least $10K more a year than I am. That is not even the worst of it...I would not mind if he actually GOT ANYTHING I FUCKING SAID TO HIM! I explain what to do, even 1., 2., 3. write out exactly what needs to be done to get the work done and he just cocks his head like a damn dog and says "ummm, yeah". OMG! Yes, this job is technical and sometimes difficult, but I am not spouting out the recipe to make a goddam nuclear bomb.
Serenity Now!!!
I am glad it is Friday. My guy and I are going to have a relaxing night at home, barbecuing some salmon on the grill and having some home-grown veggies. I can not wait to get home, crack open a beer and start slicing some veggies. I am not sure what is on for the rest of the weekend. There is a Blues Festival in Onset tomorrow, might try to swing down there. My horse is in desperate need of a bath though and we do have a ton of yard work to do. There just is not enough time in 2 days to get it all done and have fun.
Serenity Now!!!
I am glad it is Friday. My guy and I are going to have a relaxing night at home, barbecuing some salmon on the grill and having some home-grown veggies. I can not wait to get home, crack open a beer and start slicing some veggies. I am not sure what is on for the rest of the weekend. There is a Blues Festival in Onset tomorrow, might try to swing down there. My horse is in desperate need of a bath though and we do have a ton of yard work to do. There just is not enough time in 2 days to get it all done and have fun.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Never Again
I had the cyst removal surgery or procedure or whatever you call it...and it sucked! I figured it would be easy, a little numbing meds, a quick slice, pop them out, a stitch and away we go. Nope. The numbing medicine was very painful, and then was not working very well, so had to keep adding more. The cysts would not come out, so the surgeon had to keep pulling and digging and cutting deeper. A quick half hour procedure lasted over an hour. I was not happy afterward, especially with no pain meds.
I will keep the rest of my little bumps on my head. They just better not start growing!!
I will keep the rest of my little bumps on my head. They just better not start growing!!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Gives Me Goosebumps
Call me crazy, but this video is so beautiful. I do not see a Moose and her calves...I see a loving mother and her innocent babies. Unlike humans, they will stay innocent...
http://www.maniacworld.com/twin-baby-moose-in-sprinkler.html
http://www.maniacworld.com/twin-baby-moose-in-sprinkler.html
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Shhhh, Don't Tell Mom
But I just got back from my first ride on the back of a motorcycle!!!! She would flip out. (They are dangerous ya know!) :) It was a blast. My guy has a sport bike, crotch rocket, rice-burner...whatever the hell you call it and I finally got my ride. I can not wait to go again. The feeling of complete nauscea was gone after the first mile. To think...I almost said "nevermind". Yay me for not wimping!!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Blah Blah Blah
I just have some random thoughts and some free time, so decided to blab it out on a blog.
Yesterday did not end much better than it began. The vet called the house phone instead of the cell that I told him to call. No one listens! I went to a different grain store to get the new grain I want to try and they were out, so had to get the old stuff...and overpaid for it. Oh well, I will bill it out to the horse's owner. Poor CV's back is killing her, bad timing with one of the girls going on vacation next week. We need someone to help feed the horses breakfast and none of the other people are volunteering to help. I can not get over people who are quick to ask others to cover for them, but when the shoe is on the other foot, they are nowhere to be found. I would help, but I have to be at work too early to feed breakfast. I hope CV doesn't have to pay someone to do it, but if she can not and the other losers don't step up, it has to be done.
The Facebook thing is working out pretty well. I am catching up with some people I have not seen in years. It is far easier for me to set up than Myspace was as well, so when I have time, I do enjoy it.
One of my new favorite songs is "What do ya think about that" by Montgomery Gentry. People are always jabbing their jaws about things that are none of their concern....well, I have enough to worry about than to think about the gossip. I love this song!
"Some people care about what other people think
Worry about what they say
Let a little gossip
Coming from a loose lip ruin a perfect day
Say, blah, blah, blah, just a jacking their jaws
Got a letta roll off-a my back
I don't give a dern what other people think
What do ya think about that"
I am having a terrible Chilis craving this week. Last week it was sushi, this week Chilis. NO, I am not pregnant! LOL. Odd though, I have not been to Chilis in almost a year. It just goes to show the power of advertising. I saw a commercial for some of their new dishes and now REALLY want to go. Maybe this weekend...or the sushi craving will return. One never knows. :)
Yesterday did not end much better than it began. The vet called the house phone instead of the cell that I told him to call. No one listens! I went to a different grain store to get the new grain I want to try and they were out, so had to get the old stuff...and overpaid for it. Oh well, I will bill it out to the horse's owner. Poor CV's back is killing her, bad timing with one of the girls going on vacation next week. We need someone to help feed the horses breakfast and none of the other people are volunteering to help. I can not get over people who are quick to ask others to cover for them, but when the shoe is on the other foot, they are nowhere to be found. I would help, but I have to be at work too early to feed breakfast. I hope CV doesn't have to pay someone to do it, but if she can not and the other losers don't step up, it has to be done.
The Facebook thing is working out pretty well. I am catching up with some people I have not seen in years. It is far easier for me to set up than Myspace was as well, so when I have time, I do enjoy it.
One of my new favorite songs is "What do ya think about that" by Montgomery Gentry. People are always jabbing their jaws about things that are none of their concern....well, I have enough to worry about than to think about the gossip. I love this song!
"Some people care about what other people think
Worry about what they say
Let a little gossip
Coming from a loose lip ruin a perfect day
Say, blah, blah, blah, just a jacking their jaws
Got a letta roll off-a my back
I don't give a dern what other people think
What do ya think about that"
I am having a terrible Chilis craving this week. Last week it was sushi, this week Chilis. NO, I am not pregnant! LOL. Odd though, I have not been to Chilis in almost a year. It just goes to show the power of advertising. I saw a commercial for some of their new dishes and now REALLY want to go. Maybe this weekend...or the sushi craving will return. One never knows. :)
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Notes From The Inner Journey
I liked this one, so figured I would share...
The push & pull of relationships
"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others."
-- Sydney J. Harris
Relationships are such a challenge because life pulls us in opposite directions at the same time.
Our personality feels the need to be unique and special and so our focus lies on how we are different from others. Differences hold the potential to create conflict.
At the same time, our souls live through connection with others. We are challenged to rise above our personal preferences to discover how we and the other are the same.
Our overall need lies in balancing these two tendencies.
"The purpose of relationships is not happiness, but transformation."
-- Andrew Schneider
The push & pull of relationships
"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others."
-- Sydney J. Harris
Relationships are such a challenge because life pulls us in opposite directions at the same time.
Our personality feels the need to be unique and special and so our focus lies on how we are different from others. Differences hold the potential to create conflict.
At the same time, our souls live through connection with others. We are challenged to rise above our personal preferences to discover how we and the other are the same.
Our overall need lies in balancing these two tendencies.
"The purpose of relationships is not happiness, but transformation."
-- Andrew Schneider
The Tip of the Iceberg
I am trying very hard today to not let everything upset me, but as things just are not going well, it is not easy. Nothing seems to be going my way, and just when I think it is, I get shot back down the to the depths of reality.
My back had started to feel better the past two weeks. I have been working very hard; exercising, riding my bike, stretching, and TRYING not to get stressed. I rode my horse a couple times last week and was getting excited to finally get to riding on a regular basis again. Well, my body disagreed. Suddenly Saturday, my knee gave out. I have no idea what happened, but my knee is so sore I can barely walk and have to drag myself up and down stairs. I did fall at the barn on Thursday, but as it was not a direct hit on the knee joint, I don't' see why that would be the cause. I think I just over-did the exercise, but goddamn it...I was trying to get better. Now I can't do anything, no bike, no horse, no stair climbing, no walking the dog. I am very frustrated and depressed, I feel like someone is telling me to just stay in bed. I want/need to get back to working out...SOON!!
My cell phone has decided not to work in the past few months. I believe Nextel is shutting down tower service to Nextel phones, forcing us to switch to a Sprint plan. Well I am not! I do not want any of the Sprint plans and refuse to pay more for cell service. I am currently involved in a rather hostile email chain with one of Sprint's flunkies and if he doesn't give me what I want, they can kiss my business goodbye.
My vet is also trying to screw me. It is pissing me off lately that the vets are all becoming so goddamn commercialized and it is all about money. They want to run tests that will tell them what we already know, rather than treat the dog for a disease we KNOW she has and should have gotten a second treatment for anyway. Let's see...pay full blood chemistry for $200, then pay $50 for the meds I know I need or just pay the $50 now and make the dog feel better. Assholes...it's all about the mighty dollar!
The electrician I hired to wire our new hot water tank has never done one before and does not know how to do part of the job. Excuse me, but information that would have been useful YESTERDAY! So I have to pay him to do part of the job and then pay someone else to do the other part, all the while the plumber is waiting to finish his job. If this electrician was not a friend of a friend, he would be out on his toolbelt.
My local grainstore is on my shitlist as well. I do not go often, as it is out of the way, so I like to stock up on grain for the horses. I also wait until I only have a few days left to go, as I want to use up the old feed, especially in these hot days. Well,they did not have one of the grains I always buy and to top it off, the idiot didn't know WHEN they would have them. COULD YOU CHECK? I am feeding horses here, can't just not feed them, ya know? Well, I am switching grains now as I can not be waiting on this particular grain to come in, so now I have to go back and get the new type and carefully switch over the horses....all in my "spare time".
Anyway...those issues are only the tip of the iceberg of what is pissing me off today. If I wrote it all down I be here most of the day. :(
My back had started to feel better the past two weeks. I have been working very hard; exercising, riding my bike, stretching, and TRYING not to get stressed. I rode my horse a couple times last week and was getting excited to finally get to riding on a regular basis again. Well, my body disagreed. Suddenly Saturday, my knee gave out. I have no idea what happened, but my knee is so sore I can barely walk and have to drag myself up and down stairs. I did fall at the barn on Thursday, but as it was not a direct hit on the knee joint, I don't' see why that would be the cause. I think I just over-did the exercise, but goddamn it...I was trying to get better. Now I can't do anything, no bike, no horse, no stair climbing, no walking the dog. I am very frustrated and depressed, I feel like someone is telling me to just stay in bed. I want/need to get back to working out...SOON!!
My cell phone has decided not to work in the past few months. I believe Nextel is shutting down tower service to Nextel phones, forcing us to switch to a Sprint plan. Well I am not! I do not want any of the Sprint plans and refuse to pay more for cell service. I am currently involved in a rather hostile email chain with one of Sprint's flunkies and if he doesn't give me what I want, they can kiss my business goodbye.
My vet is also trying to screw me. It is pissing me off lately that the vets are all becoming so goddamn commercialized and it is all about money. They want to run tests that will tell them what we already know, rather than treat the dog for a disease we KNOW she has and should have gotten a second treatment for anyway. Let's see...pay full blood chemistry for $200, then pay $50 for the meds I know I need or just pay the $50 now and make the dog feel better. Assholes...it's all about the mighty dollar!
The electrician I hired to wire our new hot water tank has never done one before and does not know how to do part of the job. Excuse me, but information that would have been useful YESTERDAY! So I have to pay him to do part of the job and then pay someone else to do the other part, all the while the plumber is waiting to finish his job. If this electrician was not a friend of a friend, he would be out on his toolbelt.
My local grainstore is on my shitlist as well. I do not go often, as it is out of the way, so I like to stock up on grain for the horses. I also wait until I only have a few days left to go, as I want to use up the old feed, especially in these hot days. Well,they did not have one of the grains I always buy and to top it off, the idiot didn't know WHEN they would have them. COULD YOU CHECK? I am feeding horses here, can't just not feed them, ya know? Well, I am switching grains now as I can not be waiting on this particular grain to come in, so now I have to go back and get the new type and carefully switch over the horses....all in my "spare time".
Anyway...those issues are only the tip of the iceberg of what is pissing me off today. If I wrote it all down I be here most of the day. :(
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Random Pics
I was up early on Saturday morning, getting ready to feed the horses and noticed the sun looking ultra orange. I wish I had a better camera to get a shot, but hey...can't have it all.
I decided to get a shot of Jade as she finally decided to come back in the house too. The other two were back in a flash after a tree suddenly split in half across the street, scaring the "bejeezes" out of both of them...sending them sprinting so fast I saw only a blur of blonde and black and white. Jade, as one can see, was not phased in the least.
I decided to get a shot of Jade as she finally decided to come back in the house too. The other two were back in a flash after a tree suddenly split in half across the street, scaring the "bejeezes" out of both of them...sending them sprinting so fast I saw only a blur of blonde and black and white. Jade, as one can see, was not phased in the least.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Memory Test
I joined the Facebook revolution. I had Myspace a couple years ago, but along with having no time to update it, I found Myspace to be an online meatmarket and popularity contest. Possibly Facebook will prove to be no different, but so far it is easier for me to work on, so I will give it a whirl.
My trouble lies in the fact that people from my past appear to be coming out of the woodwork!! Just today 3 people have joined my facebook friends list, and I can't remember who they are. I recongnize the names, but just can not place it. I am unable to access Facebook from work, so I will have to suffer until I get back home and can look up some pictures and read messages, hoping to jog my young, yet senile mind. When I see people I used to know in the mall but can not remember their name, I walk the other way. I can't do that online. I am going to have to be friendly. This is going to be tough. :-)
My trouble lies in the fact that people from my past appear to be coming out of the woodwork!! Just today 3 people have joined my facebook friends list, and I can't remember who they are. I recongnize the names, but just can not place it. I am unable to access Facebook from work, so I will have to suffer until I get back home and can look up some pictures and read messages, hoping to jog my young, yet senile mind. When I see people I used to know in the mall but can not remember their name, I walk the other way. I can't do that online. I am going to have to be friendly. This is going to be tough. :-)
Monday, July 07, 2008
It can only happen to me.
Last year this same tire nearly came off on my ride to work. It just wasn't meant to be....
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Sad to say, but my time off is about over. I took tomorrow off to give me one day on my own, but I have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon, not looking forward to it. The week was pretty good. I think the best part was Tuesday night. Mom and I went to see Melissa Ethridge at the Music Circus in Hyannis and it was an AMAZING show. Melissa and her band were insanely great. I was enraptured by them all the entire time. She came onstage at 7:30pm and did not stop until 10:30pm, and the show did not lack in talent and thrill the entire time! I am definitely going to make a point to see her again.
I finally got my kayak out today. I was out for a nice quiet ride down a local river, saw tons of turtles, birds and strange fish...it was great. I would have loved to have my camera and maybe some company, but it was great to have some quiet time with Nature. I just looked down now to realize sunscreen would have been a good idea. I swear I am NEVER going to learn. :( Maybe someday red will be my color. Hee hee.
A friend of mine was home for the week and I never got to see her. I am so upset. I suck at getting my shit together with just a week of vacation for time. The days seem to fly by. I told my Mom that going boating Wednesday messed me all up, but really, that's a sad excuse. I had so much to do, at least some of it should be done. I wanted to see my friends, I wanted to have a plumber come install a hot-water tank in the house, I wanted to buy a pellet stove for Mom. I will get some of those things done, but I am once again disappointed with myself.
Yesterday sort of topped off the insanity of my week. I headed out to the local Rite Aid looking for a few essentials and as I pulled out onto the street, I ran over some sort of metal pin (at least 6 inches long and an inch in diameter). It stuck into my BRAND NEW tire and bore a hole into my rim. I now have to buy another tire and find a Toyota wheel to replace the mess I have now. I have no car for at least the next week, going to have to drive my Guy's F350 Superduty, supercab pickup truck. Let's see, what do I not have money for.....a new tire, a new wheel and the diesel to fill that truck's tank and drive to work every day this week. It's not a good sign when two men who have worked around trucks/cars and other motorized equipment their entire lives say that they have NEVER seen anything like what happened to my tire/wheel. Yay me..should I be proud or very sad? :*(
I finally got my kayak out today. I was out for a nice quiet ride down a local river, saw tons of turtles, birds and strange fish...it was great. I would have loved to have my camera and maybe some company, but it was great to have some quiet time with Nature. I just looked down now to realize sunscreen would have been a good idea. I swear I am NEVER going to learn. :( Maybe someday red will be my color. Hee hee.
A friend of mine was home for the week and I never got to see her. I am so upset. I suck at getting my shit together with just a week of vacation for time. The days seem to fly by. I told my Mom that going boating Wednesday messed me all up, but really, that's a sad excuse. I had so much to do, at least some of it should be done. I wanted to see my friends, I wanted to have a plumber come install a hot-water tank in the house, I wanted to buy a pellet stove for Mom. I will get some of those things done, but I am once again disappointed with myself.
Yesterday sort of topped off the insanity of my week. I headed out to the local Rite Aid looking for a few essentials and as I pulled out onto the street, I ran over some sort of metal pin (at least 6 inches long and an inch in diameter). It stuck into my BRAND NEW tire and bore a hole into my rim. I now have to buy another tire and find a Toyota wheel to replace the mess I have now. I have no car for at least the next week, going to have to drive my Guy's F350 Superduty, supercab pickup truck. Let's see, what do I not have money for.....a new tire, a new wheel and the diesel to fill that truck's tank and drive to work every day this week. It's not a good sign when two men who have worked around trucks/cars and other motorized equipment their entire lives say that they have NEVER seen anything like what happened to my tire/wheel. Yay me..should I be proud or very sad? :*(
Monday, June 30, 2008
Monday Minutes
My time off has sure been interesting so far. Saturday we went to the most unbelievable wedding EVER. I could not get out of there soon enough. I love the bride, but her family is nuts! Sunday I rememberd how nice a bike ride down the Cape Cod Canal to the beach can be, and how much the ride back (against the wind) totally sucks! Oh well, good exercise. I am sick, I would do it every day if I could.
It seems I have a lot to do on my vacation. I have to learn all I can about Apple Computers so I can help a friend find the right one for her photo work. I know NOTHING about Apple. I am lucky I got my damn IPOD working properly. I have a bunch of appointments with doctors, both for me and the dogs. Most important of all, I have quite a few friends I need to catch up with soon. I caught myself thinking today, "it's already almost Tuesday!" How aweful is that?? I am thinking my vacation is close to over and it's only just begun. Oye, I must smack myself.
I realized something recently, totally unrelated to my time-off, but nevertheless worth mentioning. I learned that forgiveness is more about forgiving oneself for the wrongs done, than for forgiving the wrong-doer. Now that thought has nothing to do with serious crimes against someone, but I mean personal relationships, where some malice has come about. For so long I thought I had to find a way to forgive some of those who have hurt me in the past, yet in reality I need to forgive myself for allowing those actions to occur. I saw the negative, I knew it should not happen, yet I allowed it into my life. Human Nature? I am still working on forgiving me for past mistakes, but like I say of those who have not always seemed to be doing what I saw as right, they (and me) were doing the best they could at the time. Very difficult concept to accept....but time will tell and relief will come.
It seems I have a lot to do on my vacation. I have to learn all I can about Apple Computers so I can help a friend find the right one for her photo work. I know NOTHING about Apple. I am lucky I got my damn IPOD working properly. I have a bunch of appointments with doctors, both for me and the dogs. Most important of all, I have quite a few friends I need to catch up with soon. I caught myself thinking today, "it's already almost Tuesday!" How aweful is that?? I am thinking my vacation is close to over and it's only just begun. Oye, I must smack myself.
I realized something recently, totally unrelated to my time-off, but nevertheless worth mentioning. I learned that forgiveness is more about forgiving oneself for the wrongs done, than for forgiving the wrong-doer. Now that thought has nothing to do with serious crimes against someone, but I mean personal relationships, where some malice has come about. For so long I thought I had to find a way to forgive some of those who have hurt me in the past, yet in reality I need to forgive myself for allowing those actions to occur. I saw the negative, I knew it should not happen, yet I allowed it into my life. Human Nature? I am still working on forgiving me for past mistakes, but like I say of those who have not always seemed to be doing what I saw as right, they (and me) were doing the best they could at the time. Very difficult concept to accept....but time will tell and relief will come.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Let Freedom Ring!
Today at 3pm begins my "vacation". I am not going away anywhere, but I am still very much looking forward to some time off. It has been a stressful week, from finding out I have to have some surgery (nothing major) to worrying about one of the dog's and her nasty eye infection. I am attending a wedding tomorrow, then the rest of the week is up in the air. I am hoping to get some extra sleep and spend as much time outdoors as I possibly can.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The Blahs Need to Vamoose!
I am getting that blah/discontented feeling again. The fact that NOTHING seemed to go well yesterday could be part of it. One of the dogs has a major eye infection, work just totally sucked, my computer at home decided not to work again (time to get the hammer) and Dyna Dog ate one of my Mom's books, that I totally wanted to read. I am hoping my upcoming time-off from work will help. I will not call it vacation, as I will not be going away, just not going to work for a week. I am hoping for good weather and some time in my kayak and on my bike. I am looking forward to a Melissa Ethridge concert. Mom and I are going...girl's night. I think it will be fun.
Tonight the gals from Bookclub (or as the men call it, the Cult) are going to dinner and then to see Sex in the City, the movie. I never watched that show new, but do enjoy the re-runs. We will have fun, we always do. The ladies are good for me. I told them the new song by Lee Ann Rimes "A Good Friend and a Glass of Wine" reminds me of those ladies. We will have a nice dinner, some beer or wine and relax at the movies. I could use a laugh, those ladies always provide one!
Tonight the gals from Bookclub (or as the men call it, the Cult) are going to dinner and then to see Sex in the City, the movie. I never watched that show new, but do enjoy the re-runs. We will have fun, we always do. The ladies are good for me. I told them the new song by Lee Ann Rimes "A Good Friend and a Glass of Wine" reminds me of those ladies. We will have a nice dinner, some beer or wine and relax at the movies. I could use a laugh, those ladies always provide one!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Fried Friday
Whoever came up with the concept of "Thirsty Thursday" obviously did not have to get up for work on Friday morning. And whoever invented Tequila...I despise you right now. (Yes, I know it is my own fault for drinking so much, but damn it, I do not want to take responsibility at the moment.) Girl's Night Out is great, but not on a work night. Yep, I am old and lame. I am ok with that! It was a good time though, so once the nausea passes, it will be worth it.
My real concern came when my Guy told me that I got up in the middle of the night mumbling to myself and went downstairs for awhile. He has no idea where I went or what I was doing, but I eventually came back. I thought at first he was messing with me, but nope. I have NO IDEA what I was doing and the dogs are not talking. I hope I did not go outside or something. My Guy offered to tie me to the bed at night, but somehow I do not think he was looking out for MY best interest. Men!
I am not sure what is up for this weekend. I was hoping to get out on the kayak again, but Sunday is not looking so great as far as weather. I am going to get some batteries for my camera, those rechargeables are not working, so back to the lithium I go. Of course all week with no camera I have seen so many things I would have loved to photograph. Next year...new camera. One with it's own rechargeable battery and a really good zoom lense. :)
My real concern came when my Guy told me that I got up in the middle of the night mumbling to myself and went downstairs for awhile. He has no idea where I went or what I was doing, but I eventually came back. I thought at first he was messing with me, but nope. I have NO IDEA what I was doing and the dogs are not talking. I hope I did not go outside or something. My Guy offered to tie me to the bed at night, but somehow I do not think he was looking out for MY best interest. Men!
I am not sure what is up for this weekend. I was hoping to get out on the kayak again, but Sunday is not looking so great as far as weather. I am going to get some batteries for my camera, those rechargeables are not working, so back to the lithium I go. Of course all week with no camera I have seen so many things I would have loved to photograph. Next year...new camera. One with it's own rechargeable battery and a really good zoom lense. :)
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Winding Down
It has been a busy few days for me. Friday I was off from work, got my hair cut and then went to Boston with friends for dinner and the Red Sox game. It was a disappointing game, but a fun time with the ladies. Saturday I spent some time with the dogs, did the usual chores and then headed to CV's for a Triple Crown Party. Another disappointing sports event, but a really fun time with friends. By Sunday morning, I was beat, but off we went for a day of boating. Today was the maiden voyage for my new kayak. In between being the official "spotter" for those skiing or wakeboarding, I was out trolling the lake in my kayak. It was a beautiful day, but I am left with no physical energy, only my mind has anything left to give at this moment.
I wanted to stay home tonight, have a nice dinner and relax, which I have. I turned on the tv only to watch a beautiful, yet sad movie, "Mrs. Paltry at the Claremont". Though I would much rather think of the fun times I had this weekend and attempt to ignore the horrific sunburn I got on my bike ride yesterday, this movie has left me wondering what it is like to grow old. Many wonder what it would be like to know when he/she is going to die. I would not want to know, but what happens when one is elderly and knows that time is fleeting? In the movie, it seemed the elderly characters were all waiting to die. One woman stated, as the passed away in Mrs. Paltry's arms, that she has been waiting a long time for this moment. It was so sad to me, but how could I understand how she would have felt, as I have not lived through so much, lived such a long life. Compared to the senior characters in this movie, I have barely lived in my 31 years. It is amazing how time flies, how things change, how people change. No matter how long I live, I hope I continue to change, continue to grow. Two steps forward, sometimes one step back, yet there is still progress. I have to remind myself of that on a daily basis. Don't sweat the small stuff, because in the end, none of it matters. Right now matters. Right now I know that I am loved, that I am comfortable, that I am determined. Determined to do what? I am determined to be here, in the now....content.
I wanted to stay home tonight, have a nice dinner and relax, which I have. I turned on the tv only to watch a beautiful, yet sad movie, "Mrs. Paltry at the Claremont". Though I would much rather think of the fun times I had this weekend and attempt to ignore the horrific sunburn I got on my bike ride yesterday, this movie has left me wondering what it is like to grow old. Many wonder what it would be like to know when he/she is going to die. I would not want to know, but what happens when one is elderly and knows that time is fleeting? In the movie, it seemed the elderly characters were all waiting to die. One woman stated, as the passed away in Mrs. Paltry's arms, that she has been waiting a long time for this moment. It was so sad to me, but how could I understand how she would have felt, as I have not lived through so much, lived such a long life. Compared to the senior characters in this movie, I have barely lived in my 31 years. It is amazing how time flies, how things change, how people change. No matter how long I live, I hope I continue to change, continue to grow. Two steps forward, sometimes one step back, yet there is still progress. I have to remind myself of that on a daily basis. Don't sweat the small stuff, because in the end, none of it matters. Right now matters. Right now I know that I am loved, that I am comfortable, that I am determined. Determined to do what? I am determined to be here, in the now....content.
Friday, June 06, 2008
A Few More Pics
Someday I am going to get a camera with a fabulous zoom lense...but until then, this is all I could do.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
The New Addition
I took a couple of pics of the dogs this past weekend. Here are some to start. I wanted the 3 together, but only got Dyna and Vaquita so far.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Where's My Camera??
In a recent post by DAD GONE MAD, one of my favorite bloggers, Danny mentioned something that he was once told about work. Do what you love and the money will follow. I wonder...is that true? I would like it to be and a part of me does believe that if I stop working at jobs that "pay the bills" and do what I love (and I am best at), I will be able to make a good living off of my passions.
I asked a friend of mine today what she would do for work if she could make good money doing something she loves. She shocked me by saying she did not know. When I asked myself that question, at least part of the answer came so quickly to me. I would work with dogs. My recent dealings with my own family of dogs has renewed my love for their company and my desire to understand them better. I think I lost that part of myself when I lost Kayla.
All of my passions in life have always been over-shadowed by my love for animals. I am a music fanatic, always believing I would have done well in the music industry. I need music daily...I need to sing, I need to tap to the beat, I need to dance (if only in my chair at work). Music is a huge part of my life. Nature itself is a necessity to me. Whatever I am doing, I am happiest if I can do it outside. Photography is also something I have always wished I had more talent in. I love looking at photographs taken by others, I love seeing a potentially fabulous shot (if only I could remember to bring my camera with me once in awhile). Honestly, I am not a great photographer. I am probably not even a good photographer, but that does not stop me from enjoying every aspect of it (except having my own picure taken...but that's another issue.)
Is it possible to roll some of these things into a career? Dogs, Nature and photography? Since I was a small child, I have dreamed of being a photographer for National Geographic Magazine...speciaizing in wolves. Yes, I know that dream most likely will not occur in this lifetime..maybe the next.
I have decided that I need to bring my camera with me more often. I want to capture the unbelievable sunrises I am privy too first thing in the morning as I drive to work. I want to show others the herd of deer I see all the time in Great Cedar Swamp so early in the morning. If I had my camera the day I had to stop to allow a Mother Duck and her FIFTEEN Ducklings pass, I would have proof that she actually had that many babies at once. It was amazing! I am not saying taking my rather archaic little digital camera around and getting mediocre shots of the daily sightings I find wonderous will be any sort of money making scheme, but it will give me some record of the miracles of the day, rather than always remembering the stresses. These "miracles" will give me hope and inspiration...two things that can only lead to greatness.
I asked a friend of mine today what she would do for work if she could make good money doing something she loves. She shocked me by saying she did not know. When I asked myself that question, at least part of the answer came so quickly to me. I would work with dogs. My recent dealings with my own family of dogs has renewed my love for their company and my desire to understand them better. I think I lost that part of myself when I lost Kayla.
All of my passions in life have always been over-shadowed by my love for animals. I am a music fanatic, always believing I would have done well in the music industry. I need music daily...I need to sing, I need to tap to the beat, I need to dance (if only in my chair at work). Music is a huge part of my life. Nature itself is a necessity to me. Whatever I am doing, I am happiest if I can do it outside. Photography is also something I have always wished I had more talent in. I love looking at photographs taken by others, I love seeing a potentially fabulous shot (if only I could remember to bring my camera with me once in awhile). Honestly, I am not a great photographer. I am probably not even a good photographer, but that does not stop me from enjoying every aspect of it (except having my own picure taken...but that's another issue.)
Is it possible to roll some of these things into a career? Dogs, Nature and photography? Since I was a small child, I have dreamed of being a photographer for National Geographic Magazine...speciaizing in wolves. Yes, I know that dream most likely will not occur in this lifetime..maybe the next.
I have decided that I need to bring my camera with me more often. I want to capture the unbelievable sunrises I am privy too first thing in the morning as I drive to work. I want to show others the herd of deer I see all the time in Great Cedar Swamp so early in the morning. If I had my camera the day I had to stop to allow a Mother Duck and her FIFTEEN Ducklings pass, I would have proof that she actually had that many babies at once. It was amazing! I am not saying taking my rather archaic little digital camera around and getting mediocre shots of the daily sightings I find wonderous will be any sort of money making scheme, but it will give me some record of the miracles of the day, rather than always remembering the stresses. These "miracles" will give me hope and inspiration...two things that can only lead to greatness.
Note to Self
Don't mess with blog template at work. Now I don't have time to fix the mess I made. Oh well.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Dog Days
The past week has been fascinating. It has been a long time since I attempted to integrate an adult dog into our "pack". Lucky for all of us, Dyna is a great dog. She is quiet and knows her place. Sadly enough for Vaquita...Dyna's place is above my wee pup. She displayed that fact by chasing the pup away from the bowl of food Vaquita was enjoying. I did have to snap back (verbally, of course) at Dyna for chasing Vaquita away, but I can't blame her for establishing her dominance over my Spotted Nuisance, especially as Vaquita does not live in my house with Isis and Dyna, she lives at my Guy's house.
Isis can be a tough dog to figure out. Some dogs she likes, some she hates. She is the same with people. I took Wednesday off to spend with Isis and Dyna on their first full day together. It was a lovely day, so we spent a lot of time outside in the yard. As I sat and read a book, the dogs did what I can only be describe as a dance. They never looked directly at each other, as that would be a sign of aggression. Each watched the other out of the corner of her eye, keeping her curiosity private. Isis would wander around the yard investigating the grass, while Dyna "followed" her. If I were not paying attention to them, I would not think Dyna was following Isis, but her movements were calculated. She always stayed between 6 and 10 feet from her new companion, again, never directly watching her. Dyna was sure to sniff the same spots though that Isis had just had her nose on a minute before. Isis knew what Dyna was doing, I know my Chow...she was positioning her body in such a way that she always had an eye on Dyna, but never invited her to join in on the fun. Later in the day, they found a spot on the lawn and lounged about. Dyna wasn't sure where to go. She is still insecure about her surroundings. She would run to me, then into the yard again, then back to me on the deck. As the afternoon passed, Dyna decided to test her limits. She wandered onto the grass about 5 feet from where Isis was laying. She never looked at her, but kept her head low, circling. Isis never turned to see her, but wagged her tail ever so slightly. Apparently that was the ok for Dyna to lay down. She still remained about 5 feet from Isis, but she was able to lay down and relax, rather than wander around in a seemingly lost state.
Since that day, Dyna has gotten a bit more confident and the girls seem to trust each other. They sniff the same areas on walks and will lay withing a couple feet of each other. Isis will still not show any interest in Dyna...she is being her typical off-standish Chow Chow self, but that's fine. Dyna is respecting Isis' wants and not being a nuisance. Now I just have to get Vaquita to accept that Dyna is not going to kill her when they are in the house together and Vaquita can not run into Dyna's side when they run around together on walks. Pups!
I am hoping to get some pictures this weekend. I have a busy weekend ahead, which includes bathing Vaquita, Jade and Jasmine. Isis and Dyna got their baths this past weekend. I have spent the week healing my back from bending over and wrestling with Dyna over her bath...so here I go again.
Isis can be a tough dog to figure out. Some dogs she likes, some she hates. She is the same with people. I took Wednesday off to spend with Isis and Dyna on their first full day together. It was a lovely day, so we spent a lot of time outside in the yard. As I sat and read a book, the dogs did what I can only be describe as a dance. They never looked directly at each other, as that would be a sign of aggression. Each watched the other out of the corner of her eye, keeping her curiosity private. Isis would wander around the yard investigating the grass, while Dyna "followed" her. If I were not paying attention to them, I would not think Dyna was following Isis, but her movements were calculated. She always stayed between 6 and 10 feet from her new companion, again, never directly watching her. Dyna was sure to sniff the same spots though that Isis had just had her nose on a minute before. Isis knew what Dyna was doing, I know my Chow...she was positioning her body in such a way that she always had an eye on Dyna, but never invited her to join in on the fun. Later in the day, they found a spot on the lawn and lounged about. Dyna wasn't sure where to go. She is still insecure about her surroundings. She would run to me, then into the yard again, then back to me on the deck. As the afternoon passed, Dyna decided to test her limits. She wandered onto the grass about 5 feet from where Isis was laying. She never looked at her, but kept her head low, circling. Isis never turned to see her, but wagged her tail ever so slightly. Apparently that was the ok for Dyna to lay down. She still remained about 5 feet from Isis, but she was able to lay down and relax, rather than wander around in a seemingly lost state.
Since that day, Dyna has gotten a bit more confident and the girls seem to trust each other. They sniff the same areas on walks and will lay withing a couple feet of each other. Isis will still not show any interest in Dyna...she is being her typical off-standish Chow Chow self, but that's fine. Dyna is respecting Isis' wants and not being a nuisance. Now I just have to get Vaquita to accept that Dyna is not going to kill her when they are in the house together and Vaquita can not run into Dyna's side when they run around together on walks. Pups!
I am hoping to get some pictures this weekend. I have a busy weekend ahead, which includes bathing Vaquita, Jade and Jasmine. Isis and Dyna got their baths this past weekend. I have spent the week healing my back from bending over and wrestling with Dyna over her bath...so here I go again.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
A New Day
Dyna is here. Yesterday afternoon actually went off without a hitch. I have never driven to Logan Airport on my own, and during rush-hour traffic added an extra worry. I got in and out of the airport with no real issues (except some shock over the $15 parking charge for a couple hours).
She is a sweet dog. Isis has growled at her a couple times and she just backs away and respects Isis' space. I think they will be ok. I do have to keep an eye on her though, as she is underweight, therefore hungry and doesn't hesitate to jump up at the counter if she knows there is food up there. She has never had her own home though, so I can not really blame her for bad manners. She will learn.
Last night went well, she was quiet and made no messes. Isis and I are going to take Dyna on her first walk around cranberry bogs. Hopefully after a couple walks together, the girls will start to bond. Isis is a stubborn Chow, but I know she trusts me not to put her into harms way. It is going to be a perfect weather day...I am going to get outside and enjoy it!
She is a sweet dog. Isis has growled at her a couple times and she just backs away and respects Isis' space. I think they will be ok. I do have to keep an eye on her though, as she is underweight, therefore hungry and doesn't hesitate to jump up at the counter if she knows there is food up there. She has never had her own home though, so I can not really blame her for bad manners. She will learn.
Last night went well, she was quiet and made no messes. Isis and I are going to take Dyna on her first walk around cranberry bogs. Hopefully after a couple walks together, the girls will start to bond. Isis is a stubborn Chow, but I know she trusts me not to put her into harms way. It is going to be a perfect weather day...I am going to get outside and enjoy it!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
When Will The Storm Pass?
I need to stop reading the news. I have a lot of down-time at work, therefore to keep boredom at bay I head right to the main news websites. I read about thousands of people dying from a cyclone and their government’s lack of effort to help them. I read about hundreds of young students being buried under the rubble of their school after an earthquake. I read about a Mother who throws her child out a window TWICE in order to kill the girl and then kills herself. I read about a Father who holds his daughter prisoner for over 20 years and fathers 7 children with her. All this horrid news is overwhelming. I wonder what the hell is happening out there. The weather is insane. I will not get into the Global Warming debate with anyone, but I will say...Mother Nature must be pissed. Then there is the incredibly awful behavior of people all over the world. I do not remember such atrocities in the past. People keep saying that before these events were not recorded, written about and discussed. I can accept that as part of the reason, but I also believe that it was never this bad. Something is happening.
I have been re-reading Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth”. I believe what he calls the Ego and the Pain Body, which exists in all of us, is the cause of the recent onslaught of negativity. Some people are beginning to slowly “awaken” and become aware of their own presence and consciousness and the ego’s are fighting back, causing violence. Because all our energies are connected to all things, connected to the energy of our planet, all the negativity is having an effect on the environment. I could be way off base, it could just be crazy weather and more crazy people, but it does not feel as though it is a simple weather issue or simply more open reporting. I worry about how bad it will get before the darkness finally parts and peace reins. I guess all I can do if work on myself and defeating my own inner “demons”.
I have been re-reading Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth”. I believe what he calls the Ego and the Pain Body, which exists in all of us, is the cause of the recent onslaught of negativity. Some people are beginning to slowly “awaken” and become aware of their own presence and consciousness and the ego’s are fighting back, causing violence. Because all our energies are connected to all things, connected to the energy of our planet, all the negativity is having an effect on the environment. I could be way off base, it could just be crazy weather and more crazy people, but it does not feel as though it is a simple weather issue or simply more open reporting. I worry about how bad it will get before the darkness finally parts and peace reins. I guess all I can do if work on myself and defeating my own inner “demons”.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
A New Friend
The big day is fast approaching!! Dyna will be arriving in Boston next Tuesday night. I am very excited, yet quite nervous at the same time. I am afraid I have my Mom's nervous/worried streak. She is totally wigging out about the whole situation, from whether Isis will be upset to how I will get to the airport on my own and get the dog and the crate into the car. As I type this blog, I am starting to wonder myself if I will be able to work this one. The crate will most likely be quite large....will it fit into my car? Along with a large dog? Uh oh.......
Well, no point in getting myself upset, I will figure it out. I always do.
Well, no point in getting myself upset, I will figure it out. I always do.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Attempted Presence
"Maybe." "Is that so?" "This too shall pass."
These are going to be my responses to my mind's responses to what happens/is to happen. One of those phrases will be my response to another's thoughts on an event. I need to do as I am attempting to learn reading Eckardt Tolle's "A New Earth", and remain non-reactive.
I read "A New Earth" over 2 years ago. It was perfect to help me deal with the issues in my life at that time, but somehow I lost all I had learned and fell back into a state of over-reaction and mind-obsessed thinking. It's hard, but I am slowly taking control of my racing thoughts and raging emotions and accepting that which is/has been/will be.
As I drove home from work last week, I was doing the usual....obsessing on the list of negatives I find in my life. Something suddenly came to me, a quiet, calm voice in the background...."enough". The positives are so much more impressive and worth so much more of my time. That which I deem negative is only negative because I think of it as such. No more. Each day I remember what makes me content in life, what makes me smile...and I then do smile, inside and out.
There will be a new addition to our family! Her name is Dyna. She is a 3yr old Rhodesian Ridgeback/Shepherd cross. Dyna is a one of many Satos on the island of Vieques, Puerto Rico. Mom and I are adopting her from the same shelter from which I adopted my Vaquita. So many people ask me why I am adopting a dog from Puerto Rico and not from the local area, making accusations, as though I am betraying the animals in the local area. I have attempted to come up with an explanation as to why I choose a Sato. I do not need an excuse. Why does it matter from what location I find the dog, as long as I adopt a homeless animal. Vaquita and Dyna are just as deserving of a chance, as any dog I could find in a local shelter. Vaquita would have died had I not decided to adopt her, we were meant to be. I believe Dyna is meant to be with my Mom and Isis. Isis is lonely, she misses her sister and I believe would be happy with a companion. She can be tough to read with other dogs, but I have a good feeling about this match-up. Dyna should be arriving in the next month, we are all very excited.
This is Isis, a most wonderful gift in the life of my family.
This is Dyna....she will be welcomed with open arms...and hopefully open paws.
These are going to be my responses to my mind's responses to what happens/is to happen. One of those phrases will be my response to another's thoughts on an event. I need to do as I am attempting to learn reading Eckardt Tolle's "A New Earth", and remain non-reactive.
I read "A New Earth" over 2 years ago. It was perfect to help me deal with the issues in my life at that time, but somehow I lost all I had learned and fell back into a state of over-reaction and mind-obsessed thinking. It's hard, but I am slowly taking control of my racing thoughts and raging emotions and accepting that which is/has been/will be.
As I drove home from work last week, I was doing the usual....obsessing on the list of negatives I find in my life. Something suddenly came to me, a quiet, calm voice in the background...."enough". The positives are so much more impressive and worth so much more of my time. That which I deem negative is only negative because I think of it as such. No more. Each day I remember what makes me content in life, what makes me smile...and I then do smile, inside and out.
There will be a new addition to our family! Her name is Dyna. She is a 3yr old Rhodesian Ridgeback/Shepherd cross. Dyna is a one of many Satos on the island of Vieques, Puerto Rico. Mom and I are adopting her from the same shelter from which I adopted my Vaquita. So many people ask me why I am adopting a dog from Puerto Rico and not from the local area, making accusations, as though I am betraying the animals in the local area. I have attempted to come up with an explanation as to why I choose a Sato. I do not need an excuse. Why does it matter from what location I find the dog, as long as I adopt a homeless animal. Vaquita and Dyna are just as deserving of a chance, as any dog I could find in a local shelter. Vaquita would have died had I not decided to adopt her, we were meant to be. I believe Dyna is meant to be with my Mom and Isis. Isis is lonely, she misses her sister and I believe would be happy with a companion. She can be tough to read with other dogs, but I have a good feeling about this match-up. Dyna should be arriving in the next month, we are all very excited.
This is Isis, a most wonderful gift in the life of my family.
This is Dyna....she will be welcomed with open arms...and hopefully open paws.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Sleepless Nights
Sleep has evaded me for the past couple days. My mind is riddled with dreams, most of which I can not remember. The dream to which I awoke this morning will not leave my mind soon enough. I dreamt of Kayla, my beautiful American Bulldog, who passed away last year. I think of her daily, miss her more than words and am plagued with the what-ifs. What if I had taken Kayla to the doctor sooner? What if I had opted to have her endure the surgery to remove the tumor? Would she still be with us? I love my Vaquita, but Kayla was my best friend. We were meant to be together, I truely believe that statement to be fact. I have never felt such devotion as I did when I was with her and I will never feel such relief as I did the day she decided to trust me and climbed into my lap at the Animal Shelter.
Nothing feels the same since Kayla passed away. I am not the same, Isis is not the same...our home feels quiet and empty. In my dream last night, the house was full of excitement, the other dogs that are currently in my life running around having fun. Kayla was not playing, she was walking around looking lost. She had her surgery to remove the tumor and was supposed to be better. She looked like her fit self, strong and muscled like I want to remember. Her eyes told me another story. I saw the sadness that I stared at every day for months before she died. I saw her stagger and fall to the ground, and though Mom tried to say maybe she just needed to walk more to get strong again, Kayla's eyes told me another truth. The surgery did not work, she was dying. I woke up with that thought, again..she is dying. I woke up to that thought every morning for so long, I want to wake up knowing that Kayla is happy. Maybe she was trying to tell me something, maybe she wanted me to know I made the right decision...or maybe it was just my head fucking with me again. I do not know. All I know right now is that I need to not cry right now, I need to accept that she is gone. I do not think I will ever stop crying for my Kayla Baby.
Nothing feels the same since Kayla passed away. I am not the same, Isis is not the same...our home feels quiet and empty. In my dream last night, the house was full of excitement, the other dogs that are currently in my life running around having fun. Kayla was not playing, she was walking around looking lost. She had her surgery to remove the tumor and was supposed to be better. She looked like her fit self, strong and muscled like I want to remember. Her eyes told me another story. I saw the sadness that I stared at every day for months before she died. I saw her stagger and fall to the ground, and though Mom tried to say maybe she just needed to walk more to get strong again, Kayla's eyes told me another truth. The surgery did not work, she was dying. I woke up with that thought, again..she is dying. I woke up to that thought every morning for so long, I want to wake up knowing that Kayla is happy. Maybe she was trying to tell me something, maybe she wanted me to know I made the right decision...or maybe it was just my head fucking with me again. I do not know. All I know right now is that I need to not cry right now, I need to accept that she is gone. I do not think I will ever stop crying for my Kayla Baby.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Love and Pain
Love life and yourself
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
-- Lao Tzu
There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.
We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.
"It matters not Who you love, Where you love, Why you love, When you love, Or how you love, It matters only that you love."
-- John Lennon
"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?"
-- Frank Scully
I have been watching a lot of my friends suffer through relationships with their current, past or desired significant others and it makes me wonder why we go through such stresses. I listen to the questioning of whether the significant is worth fighting for, if it is true love or just a "place-holder" on the path for something more. My incessant worrying causes me to wonder why/how I have found someone in my life with whom I can relax and not have these issues and conficts. I never have before, so I am going to go with the idea that I am due. I was far too tired of the bullshit of relationships and was about to just give it up and do my own thing, alone, when he came to me. I am lucky. I wish my friends could find such happiness. Nothing is perfect, I am not a fool. My own baggage plagues my relationship, but I try daily to remember that past is past. It is true, loving someone else gives one courage. I have be brave, fight my fear of being hurt, because I am too much in love and too loved not to.
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
-- Lao Tzu
There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.
We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.
"It matters not Who you love, Where you love, Why you love, When you love, Or how you love, It matters only that you love."
-- John Lennon
"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?"
-- Frank Scully
I have been watching a lot of my friends suffer through relationships with their current, past or desired significant others and it makes me wonder why we go through such stresses. I listen to the questioning of whether the significant is worth fighting for, if it is true love or just a "place-holder" on the path for something more. My incessant worrying causes me to wonder why/how I have found someone in my life with whom I can relax and not have these issues and conficts. I never have before, so I am going to go with the idea that I am due. I was far too tired of the bullshit of relationships and was about to just give it up and do my own thing, alone, when he came to me. I am lucky. I wish my friends could find such happiness. Nothing is perfect, I am not a fool. My own baggage plagues my relationship, but I try daily to remember that past is past. It is true, loving someone else gives one courage. I have be brave, fight my fear of being hurt, because I am too much in love and too loved not to.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
HEALTHY BABY!!
My friend had her baby and he is GORGEOUS. After a bit of a scare for both Mommy and baby, they both pulled through perfect and are at home, where they belong. I just had to post a pic of the cutie!!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Everything Would Be Better With Sunshine
There has been a lot going on lately, but nothing about which I was too keen on writing. Though out it all, I just sit and eagerly anticipate Spring and taking some time off. I really need a vacation, but no money to travel and the weather is too crappy to waste my vacation time.
I applied for a job with the State. I hope I get a call soon. A friend of mine works there as an engineer and thinks I could do the job and would enjoy it, as I would be outside most of the time. I am tired of sitting in my little cubicle, surrounded by people who apparently think we are still in High School.
I got a gorgeous necklace for V-day. My Honey is way to good to me, I keep telling him I am spoiled. My back hurt the other day and he was outside in the freezing cold getting the hottub ready for me. He does so much for me, just says with a smile, "the things I do for you." Hee hee, he loves me. He has to love me. My puppy chewed the corner of his couch, along with all the dining room chairs and the cabinet corners and he has not thrown us out. I am lucky...Vaquita is damn lucky! Little Menace!
A good friend of mine had a baby last week, her first. All weekend I had this awful feeling something was not right. I spoke to her yesterday and things were not going well. She had a second surgery due to internal bleeding and the baby was having trouble breathing yesterday. I am still waiting to hear how they are, trying to stay positive. She deserves to take her baby home, healthy and happy. I was in tears just about all day yesterday, so worried for them both. I just can not imagine how she must be feeling.
I applied for a job with the State. I hope I get a call soon. A friend of mine works there as an engineer and thinks I could do the job and would enjoy it, as I would be outside most of the time. I am tired of sitting in my little cubicle, surrounded by people who apparently think we are still in High School.
I got a gorgeous necklace for V-day. My Honey is way to good to me, I keep telling him I am spoiled. My back hurt the other day and he was outside in the freezing cold getting the hottub ready for me. He does so much for me, just says with a smile, "the things I do for you." Hee hee, he loves me. He has to love me. My puppy chewed the corner of his couch, along with all the dining room chairs and the cabinet corners and he has not thrown us out. I am lucky...Vaquita is damn lucky! Little Menace!
A good friend of mine had a baby last week, her first. All weekend I had this awful feeling something was not right. I spoke to her yesterday and things were not going well. She had a second surgery due to internal bleeding and the baby was having trouble breathing yesterday. I am still waiting to hear how they are, trying to stay positive. She deserves to take her baby home, healthy and happy. I was in tears just about all day yesterday, so worried for them both. I just can not imagine how she must be feeling.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Is there anything cuter??
My pup is too cute...even if she is on the couch from which her Daddy has banned all dogs. Oops...I couldn't kick her off without getting a few shots first.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Capall and Me
My riding season did not end well last year with my horse. Through a couple falls, my back being out of whack and just general stresses, I lost the bond with my horse that I had treasured the year before. I became frustrated with bad rides and scared to fall and hurt my back more, so I stopped riding very early in the season. To be completely honest, I just dropped my horse all together and she's PISSED.
I need to make it up to her. Like CV says, that mare loves me and tries so hard to please, but she also knows when I am not "there" for her. Now she walks away from me, pulls her head away when I go to pat her and is generally hornery with me. It is completely my fault, and I know that.
I have been reading "Chicken Soup for the Horse Lovers Soul." It was a birthday gift from CV and it could not have come at a better time. The weather will be getting better soon (hopefully) and I will need to get ready to ride. My back is still not up to par and my mare is still feeling rejected, so we will take it slow. Through reading this book and the wonderful stories in it, I have come to a realization about what lead to the decline in my riding abilities. I forgot why I wanted this horse in the first place. Yes, she is a lovely mover. Maybe she should be in the show ring, winning ribbons in dressage. Maybe I should want to show off my hard work and be proud of my abilities. I am proud, no, I was proud. I am not proud of the fact that my trying so hard to get it perfect and impress those who were pushing me to enter the dressage world and show has put a rift between my horse and I. It is not about winning ribbons or making anyone else happy. I love my horses because they are my friends, because they calm me and give me purpose. They need me, yet I need them so much more. I need Capall to look at me with the soft eyes I used to see. I need to know her next move before she makes it, like I did with my old friends of the past. I need to sit quietly in the field and relax, every few minutes feeling her soft my muzzle moving my foot about as she nibbles grass next to me. I want Capall to trust me again, to not flare up with nervousness when I pull out her tack. I want us both to enjoy our time. I miss my friend, I know she misses me. It's time to begin mending the rift. It will not be easy, mares are not one's to easily forgive. It's ok though, we have all the time in the world.
I need to make it up to her. Like CV says, that mare loves me and tries so hard to please, but she also knows when I am not "there" for her. Now she walks away from me, pulls her head away when I go to pat her and is generally hornery with me. It is completely my fault, and I know that.
I have been reading "Chicken Soup for the Horse Lovers Soul." It was a birthday gift from CV and it could not have come at a better time. The weather will be getting better soon (hopefully) and I will need to get ready to ride. My back is still not up to par and my mare is still feeling rejected, so we will take it slow. Through reading this book and the wonderful stories in it, I have come to a realization about what lead to the decline in my riding abilities. I forgot why I wanted this horse in the first place. Yes, she is a lovely mover. Maybe she should be in the show ring, winning ribbons in dressage. Maybe I should want to show off my hard work and be proud of my abilities. I am proud, no, I was proud. I am not proud of the fact that my trying so hard to get it perfect and impress those who were pushing me to enter the dressage world and show has put a rift between my horse and I. It is not about winning ribbons or making anyone else happy. I love my horses because they are my friends, because they calm me and give me purpose. They need me, yet I need them so much more. I need Capall to look at me with the soft eyes I used to see. I need to know her next move before she makes it, like I did with my old friends of the past. I need to sit quietly in the field and relax, every few minutes feeling her soft my muzzle moving my foot about as she nibbles grass next to me. I want Capall to trust me again, to not flare up with nervousness when I pull out her tack. I want us both to enjoy our time. I miss my friend, I know she misses me. It's time to begin mending the rift. It will not be easy, mares are not one's to easily forgive. It's ok though, we have all the time in the world.
Friday, January 18, 2008
How Many Of Us Can Adhere To This?
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
- Dorothy Nevill
Temptation is a bad thing, lead by ego. The worst is the temptation to say something knowing it will bring someone else down, and having that end be the goal.
- Dorothy Nevill
Temptation is a bad thing, lead by ego. The worst is the temptation to say something knowing it will bring someone else down, and having that end be the goal.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Ach-choo!!.....Or Not.
You know the feeling you get when you're going to sneeze? Your nose itches, your eyes nearly water, you immediately have to stop what you are doing and prepare. You might grab a tissue, or put your arm or hand to your face, or merely turn away from someone or something. You wait for it...and nothing! How annoying is that?! You could even try to force it, mimicking the body movements associated with the sneeze, yet still...nothing.
I have decided that this "feeling/annoyance" would make a perfect and non-lethal means of torture. What if a shot was invented to cause such a feeling, that lasts for a long period of time, only stopping with an antidote? The Federal Government has been under fire recently for less than moral/constitutional practices when it comes to interrogating terror suspects in prison. I am not sure on my personal feelings on torture, I hate violence/war, but if someone is a known terrorist...well, we have to do something.
The "Not-So-Sneeze" shot would drive someone nuts and I don't know about you, but I would confess all my sins to make it stop.
I have decided that this "feeling/annoyance" would make a perfect and non-lethal means of torture. What if a shot was invented to cause such a feeling, that lasts for a long period of time, only stopping with an antidote? The Federal Government has been under fire recently for less than moral/constitutional practices when it comes to interrogating terror suspects in prison. I am not sure on my personal feelings on torture, I hate violence/war, but if someone is a known terrorist...well, we have to do something.
The "Not-So-Sneeze" shot would drive someone nuts and I don't know about you, but I would confess all my sins to make it stop.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Holy Crap!
The Powers That Be posted a note in each of the bathrooms in corporate asking people to please adhere to personal hygiene expectations. ARE YOU KIDDING? Am I the only one who is embarrassed that a message had to be posted at all? We are all adults, working in a corporate/professional atmosphere, yet we have to be threatened with Human Resources Repercussions if we are caught being less than cleanly. Now I am not saying that the note was not necessary, because sadly it was. I work on the third floor and go down to the first floor to use the ladies room. Granted, I originally began this practice for the exercise and chance to get away from my desk, but now it's a necessity for my physical well-being. Like I told my co-worker, the 3rd floor ladies room consistently smells like someone ate roadkill for lunch and then was kind enough to excrete it and the foul odors associated in the bathroom. It's un-freakin-believable. No one's "shit" smells like roses, but DAMN! The third floor lavatory is far from perfect, as I found a floater today on my last trip in there...eww, but still, it's far better than suffering through the third floor! One day I walked in there out of utter emergency (would not have made the trip downstairs) and was nearly blasted back out by the odor, letting out an unconscious "holy shit, what a stench!"..not realizing the potential culprit was still occupying one of the stalls. Oopsie. Oh well, I don't care, watch what you eat for goodness sake!
Friday, January 04, 2008
The World's a Mess
Work has been pretty damn slow lately, which despite threats from corporate, has given me time to puruse the internet in search of interesting news stories. What are the most prominent stories out there? Sadly...Britney Spears is right on top after a fiasco last night. The elections in Iowa, though I do not see their importance in this election, seemed to have topped the charts. A teenagr was mauled by a tiger and is now being hailed a hero, despite evidence he and his friends were taunting the animal. Bombs are going off all over Turkey and Pakistan, but those stories have taken a back-burner. Worst of all, HUNDREDS of people are dying in Kenya and I have yet to hear it mentioned on the television news. I heard about Britney first thing this morning, I heard about the idiotic results of the Iowa Caucus and I heard how cold it would be when I got outside...but nothing of the murders in Kenya.
This country is a mess. We would rather read about the foolishness of celebrities than have an ounce of concern for innocent people in other countries. We are pissing and moaning about gas prices, yet we do nothing about it. I read an article on Discovery.com about the fact that the raise in oil prices is a blessing in disguise because it will force us to look at alternate fuels. The trouble with that logic is that Americans are too slow to change. We are too lazy to do the research, we are too busy in our own small lives to work as a whole and change our future for the better. Other countries have already gotten on the bandwagon of alternative fuels, but it was hard work and we can not possibly stop reading about Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohen long enough to make our concerns known by more than just some meaningless bitching to our friends/co-workers/neighbors.
The more I watch the news and the more I read online, the more discouraged I am about the state of our Nation. I can not speak for other countries, as I do not know what happens there, but I hope they are different. The spoiled, self-centered behavior of our country is depressing. Yes, I am one of them. I bitch about gas prices, I read about Britney and Lindsey and I do not vote, so should shut my mouth about the elections....That does not mean I am proud of it.
This country is a mess. We would rather read about the foolishness of celebrities than have an ounce of concern for innocent people in other countries. We are pissing and moaning about gas prices, yet we do nothing about it. I read an article on Discovery.com about the fact that the raise in oil prices is a blessing in disguise because it will force us to look at alternate fuels. The trouble with that logic is that Americans are too slow to change. We are too lazy to do the research, we are too busy in our own small lives to work as a whole and change our future for the better. Other countries have already gotten on the bandwagon of alternative fuels, but it was hard work and we can not possibly stop reading about Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohen long enough to make our concerns known by more than just some meaningless bitching to our friends/co-workers/neighbors.
The more I watch the news and the more I read online, the more discouraged I am about the state of our Nation. I can not speak for other countries, as I do not know what happens there, but I hope they are different. The spoiled, self-centered behavior of our country is depressing. Yes, I am one of them. I bitch about gas prices, I read about Britney and Lindsey and I do not vote, so should shut my mouth about the elections....That does not mean I am proud of it.
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