Quiet Day

It's finally Friday, after a long week of being here with no help. There has not been much work for the field guys, but the office work keeps on coming. Today the boss and one of my more annoying supervisors is out, so it is pretty quiet...figured I would update my blog.

Not much new on the home front. Kayla is doing ok, almost out of her new meds already, so time for another roadtrip to pick some up. My sister is still there....jobless and just as annoying as ever. Her damn dog urinated on the floor again this morning when I tried to pet her....I am now completely ignoring that idiot animal. Isis is Isis, the rock she always has been. She watches everything, protecting her family and keeping that stupid little dog in line when necessary.

I do have some good news for the week. I got a new computer at work! The flatscreen monitor should be arriving today. It is so nice to not have to bring my own personal laptop to work everyday. This one is working wonderfully and I can actually accomplish something without having to go to someone else's computer. I still want a new job though, so it's not that great.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about Love lately. I have always had trouble saying "I love you" to people. I can write it all day long, but letting those three little words fall out of my mouth has always seemed awkward to me. That fact has always bothered me, and become a sticky point in my relationships with some people. I often wondered why it felt so odd to me when I said it. Was I lying? Did I not believe it was true or was I not sure, but felt I had to say it anyway? I believe it all comes down to trust. I never truly trusted that my love would be reciprocated, or that it would last and those three little words can almost weaken one in the eyes of another (if that other person is undeserving). I have been in love before, giving as much as I could to make the other person happy, but all the while I had nagging questions in the back of my mind. In reality, I knew it would not last or it was never meant to be. I believe that knowledge is what made "I love you" so hard to say, even if it was true at that moment. At this time of my life, "I love you" is very easy for me to say, yet it doesn't seem enough. I have someone in my life who I trust, without question, to be there when I need him. He makes me laugh in spite of myself, and when he holds me I know I will be alright. The best aspect of our relationship....I do the same for him. I am happy. I may complain about the rest of my life, but at the end of the day I have a smile on my face because I know that someone is thinking of me and I of him.