Sleepless Nights

I opted to stay in tonight. Normally we go to a local pub to see friends on Sunday nights, but I am tired and have a headache, which I am pretty certain is related to a serious lack of sleep as of late. Why am I not sleeping? Well, there is the constant waking up to go to the bathroom (even when I don't drink much before bed). I have been having a lot of busy dreams lately as well, ranging from foolishness, to dreams about work, to ones I know plague me, but I can not recall once I am awake. I would like a full night's sleep, at least once a week.

I do not have the pup yet. She can not be shipped from Puerto Rico for another two weeks. I wish I had her now, the more I wait, the more I think I should not have adopt another dog at this time. There is so much going on right now. I am trying to find a new job, all the while attempting to open dog kennel in the next year. My home life continues to be a mess, as I can't stand the situation with my sister. My Love still fights with his Ex for custody of his daughter. It is hard to watch such a fight. No matter what happens, the child suffers. My heart breaks for her. Her Daddy loves her more than anything, but he can not protect her from the hurt of a broken home.

I guess the uncertainty of the future is what is keeping me awake and stressing me to the point of three cold sores in one week. My worry about the future is a trait that has always been an issue for me. So many people are trapped in the past, yet I am drained by anticipation for the future. Either way, one misses out on the present. I do try. Lately though, I have lost my ability to relax my mind. It is in fast-forward. I will keeping working on hitting pause...at least long enough to enjoy the love I have found and the friends who were from my past, are in my present, and I am sure will be there for my future.