Turning Point

I have not been able to blog in a bit, as I had nothing positive to say and I did not want to write and dwell on my sadness and worry. I also did not want to write about something, have it turn out badly and then have to face that post each time I log into my blog.

Vaquita has been very sick. She slowly became lethargic over last weekend and when I brought her to the vet Monday for her second lyme shot, the doctor said she appeared extremely anemic and bloated. He pulled blood and because I was worried, I stayed home with her on Tuesday. The doc called Tuesday around 9:30am and gave me horrid news, in short telling me that either I had to bring my new baby to an emergency hospital or she would die. We were in the car by 9:45am. Vaquita was in desperate need of a blood transfusion and her liver levels were way off. I rushed her down the cape to the specialist hospital and had to leave her and a deposit of $2000. They gave her the transfusion and ran a multitude of tests. The doctors did start to treat her for the tick-born disease Erichliosis, after I spoke to the people in Puerto Rico who sent her to me. They were adamant that Vaquita must be suffering from that disease. She did start to respond to the treatments and get better. I am still waiting on some more blood tests, but so far she is doing great and after three long days, I can finally bring her home this afternoon. She will need daily antibiotics and weekly blood tests, but it looks like my pup will make it. I am not sure how I will pay this whopping bill, but I could not give up on her and lose another dog so soon.

I also was worried about a friend of mine who had a mole removed and was told it was cancerous. He is only 23 years old and his family has a history of death from skin cancer. We had to wait a week for him to see the surgeon to find out the prognosis, and thankfully he will only need one more surgery and then will be fine. What a relief! This guy worries worse than I do, so the psychological danger to him was making me more nervous than the physical danger. I am very happy that he received such fabulous news!

Moxie was supposed to be leaving. He is my horse's field mate. Mox is the only horse with whom Capall can be turned out and not have her go into raging heat or kick the crap out of him. She does not play well with others, but Mox is a grouch, so they have an interesting love-hate relationship. They kick at each other every morning, but never connect and actually get upset when one notices the other is upset in any way. It's cute. CV was going to sell Mox because she doesn't have time for him and is unable to ride anymore. I had a bad feeling about the woman who wanted to buy him and she finally backed out. Wing-nut! It's a long story, but I know Moxie is better off. Ok, so I am excited for my own selfish reasons as well, but I do truly want him to be a happy pony. He is happy at our farm.

I realized something this past week. I constantly felt as though I needed to change something in my life, that if I did so, I would not have this feeling of worry and stress. I came to understand it is change that is upsetting me. So many events are occurring around me of which I have no control. I could not stop my puppy from getting sick, I could not help my friend to not have cancer, I could not stop CV from selling Moxie, and I could not fix so many other "wrongs" that I have been watching occur around me. I watch people I care for suffer though hard times and I can not seem to do a damn thing about it and it makes me crazy. I carry that pain in my back, and I only end up with my own disabling problems and am no help to anyone. I need to accept that things happen for a reason. We need to learn from them and move on. The Universe only puts on us what it knows we can handle. I need to trust myself and turn what at first may seem to be a negative, into a positive. That concept is not very easy for me, especially when I am feeling overwhelmed, but I CAN do it. Unless I want to end up a physical wreck, suffering forever with sever back pain, I HAVE to do it.

"Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life"

A friend of mine sent me an article describing the meaning of the Tao Te Ching. I recommend everyone read this article. http://www.theglobalintelligencer.com/aug2007/arts

I would give anything to be able to make these words my reality.

Most people have too much;
I alone seem to be missing something.
Mine is indeed the mind of an ignoramus
in its unadulterated simplicity.
I am but a guest in this world.
While others rush about to get things done,
I accept what is offered.
I alone seem foolish,
earning little, spending less.
Other people strive for fame;
I avoid the limelight,
preferring to be left alone.
Indeed, I seem like an idiot:
no mind, no worries.

I drift like a wave on the ocean.
I blow as aimless as the wind.

All men settle down in their grooves;
I alone am stubborn and remain outside.
But wherein I am most different from others is
in knowing to take sustenance from the great Mother!

Day Off

I took today off in order to go on a job interview. The place is close by and the jobs sounds interesting, so wish me luck. It's nearly noontime though and I haven't done much, except play with the pup and complete the application. I took some pics though, so here's some (not so great) pics of the baby.

The vicious monkey is attacking my feet, she loves shoes. I have to break her of that habit, especially since Daddy caught her eating his boot laces. Hee hee.

It's Official

I have a new baby girl! She arrived Friday night around 6:36pm, 5lbs, 5oz! She is a tiny tot!!! My Guy and I met up with the girl from the humane society at the airport and as she took this miniscule spotted dog out of a bag carrier, my first thought was, "where is the rest of her?". I expected a chunky dalmation type puppy, but who cares, she is adorable. The Brat calls her "The Rat". Big brute, but he likes her. She is a sweetie, though still skittish and not grasping the no potty-breaks in the house or in the crate rule. We will have to work on that issue.

Her name is Vaquita. It means "little cow" in spanish. They named her that at the shelter and because she responds to it, I decided it worked for me. She has had such a rough start to her little life, including our pulling about 50 tiny ticks off her this past weekend. I have the most patient boyfriend in the world! That fact was proven Friday night when he pulled ticks out from between the toes of this pup and her ears at 11 o'clock at night, after driving over an hour to Boston to pick her up. I love my Guy!

I have brought the baby to work with me the past couple days. She still isn't at the peak of health and it's easier to work on house-breaking if she is with me. She snoozes all day in my office and everyone loves her. Johnny says she is our new mascot. I will have to get her a hardhat and T-shirt. Too bad she can't get a salary too!

I will be sure to take some pics and post them. Hopefully we can show a growth progression, because if my Mom asks "when is she going to grow?" one more time, I might start to get insulted. Hee hee.

Busy Busy Busy

My friends tease me because I hate to have more than one social engagement in one weekend. This coming weekend, I have four! Serenity Now! Why does having so much to do wig me out? I guess because I am so busy during the week, my mind/body/soul crave a day of having NOTHING to do. Now, when I say "nothing", I certainly do not mean to imply I do nothing. I am not someone who sits around just watching television or "vegging" out. I like to keep busy, but it is the lack of a schedule I desire. My "to-do" list is extensive and does not seem to ever diminish. The thought of taking at least one or two items off the list makes the weekend a good one.


Friday night the pup arrives. I have to be at the airport by 6pm to pick her up. I will be meeting up with the woman from the Humane Society. My Guy and I are disappointed that the flight is coming so early, as we were hoping to grab dinner at the Rock Bottom Restaurant in Braintree first. We love that place!! There will not be any time for dinner before hitting the airport, so the seared ahi and beer I love so much, will have to wait. Once I have the pup, I doubt I will want to do more than get her home and make sure she is ok.


The pup will have to come along to the barn with me in the morning to feed breakfast. I would like to get a chance to ride my horse after breakfast, but with the pup and the preparation for the barn party that afternoon, I doubt I will have time for a relaxing hack. I have not had time this week to get any of the food/drink for the party and I would like to help set up. CV is busy enough without having the worries of party set-up. I can not wait to see everyone though. Kev is coming, I miss him soooo much. He is a riot, so it should be a ton of fun. Three of the guests have either had a birthday or are going to have one soon, so I am bringing the champagne for a toast or two and one of the girls is bringing her "Famous Chocolate Cake." Last year the party brought tear-streaming laughter and some crazy pictures, so this year I am looking forward to a great time. Hopefully we can keep Little Duncan, the corgi, from getting drunk like he did last year. He kept drinking out of any cups left low enough, and licking up all the spilled alcohol. He had a hell of a hangover the next day. Nothing worse than a corgi with a hangover, though his headache kept him for his normally constant barking.


Sunday is supposed to be a great weather day, which means we will be going out on the boat. I am tempted to bag out of the boating activities, but unless we find someone else over 12, the two guys will not be able to ski without getting into trouble with the harbor master. I guess I will have to see how my back feels. I can't risk hurting it further by riding on the boat all day again. I certainly will not be riding the tube any more this year.


Sunday night I have dinner plans with a friend I have not seen in years. She and I used to work together, then once she left we met for dinner every few months. She got married about 2 years ago and is now having her first baby! I am so excited for her. We have been trying to get together for months, but like she said, we are running out of time. Her baby is due next month! I am sure she will be crazy busy with the new baby, so best to catch her while the baby is still in "tummy-tow".


I am taking this coming Monday off. I want to spend more time with the puppy, plus I am going to be taking my new friend out. She is the daughter of one of my Guy's friends. She is a great kid, only 10 years old, smart and very polite. She loves horses, so we are going to go to the barn and see all my pony-friends and hopefully grab an icecream while we are out. I felt terrible cancelling this past Monday on her, so I definitely need to take her out this coming Monday. The puppy has her first vet appointment in the States Monday afternoon. I want her to be in their files and make sure all is well with my new baby.


How's about I add some cuteness to my blog? Here's another pic of the little sweetie!

It Was A Good Thing

The pup was supposed to arrive this past Friday, but due to a fever, she could not be shipped. I was very disappointed. I had made special arrangements to pick her up, changed plans, and then was told it was not going to happen. I have so been looking for something to change in my life for the better, so the last thing I wanted was to be denied one thing I was sure would put a big smile on my face.

After the weekend I had, I realize it was for the best that the pup did not arrive. My Guy wanted to go out on his boat, so his friend with whom we normally go boating came, along with his two kids and for the first time this year, J-bird was around to come. Normally I am the spotter while the guys are skiing. I also drive the boat when they want to ride the tube together, but this time I wanted to do more. I decided to get in the tube. BAD IDEA! It is a three-person tube, so I was on one side, one of the kids in the middle and my guy on the other side. He kept asking if I was ok, and I was, it did not hurt while we were moving. His friend kept the boat pretty slow, speeding up a couple times to mess with me. The trouble began when the boat stopped....and I tried to move. OUCH! I slid into the water and tried to swim to the boat. No deal, I could not move my legs because my displaced hips were pulling on my lower back. It was bad, they drove over and picked me up. My face was sheet white and I bit my tongue to hold back the tears. I stayed on the boat so the guys could still ski (as I was the only spotter over 12). It was a rough afternoon. As we drove home, I thought how it was a good thing I was not going home to a new puppy. I could not have even walked her. I then had to go to CV's house and put her dogs in, one of which was freaking out because of an impending storm and had to be tranquilized. I spent an hour trying to wrangle the dogs into the house. At this point, I was spent and all set with dogs!

Sunday brought its own stresses. A court appointed laison was coming to the house to meet with J-bird and see how she and My Love interact. I made myself scarce, as this is not my place, but before she came, I could see the tension on his face. He was cleaning the house, vacuuming up the dog's hair on the carpet. I can imagine what one more dog would have done to his stress level that day. I would not have wanted to add anymore to his day.

Though I was sad about the puppy and would have liked to have seen her, there was a reason she did not come, a universal purpose. It it true, everything happens for a reason.