Missing Something

For the past few days I have felt there is someone with whom I need to speak. I kept continuously going to my email, hitting compose, but nothing. I would send short, unimportant messages to various people, but could not figure out what I wanted to say. Today, the longing increased to the point of a great uncomfortability coming over me. I did not know what it was, almost thought I was getting ill. I was missing my friend.

My birthday is this month. I am an Aquarius. Nicky was also an Aquarius and he would constantly point out how we "Crazy Aquarians" had to stick together. I need to talk to Nicky. Some changes have come about recently in my life and though I have quite a few friends with whom I can confide, the particular subject is something I always was most comfortable talking over with Nick. He was honest, but made me laugh...even if he thought I was being a fool. I wonder what he would say to me now. I can not remember how many times I went over to his desk at work, or emailed him or we went out for a few drinks and talked for hours about life and how to enjoy it. Nicky knew how to enjoy life, he wanted me to do the same, and erase the worry that attaches to my every thought. I want Nicky there for my 30th birthday party. I want to hear him laugh at me when I tell him I don't know what I am so afraid of. I want to hear stories about what my lunatic friend has been up to.

I thought I was done crying for my Nicky, but I cried the entire ride home from work. He was there, he was listening. I wish I could hear him. I miss my friend and I hope he is laughing at my silliness right now.